#300 and Movies Reviews

Wow, this is my 300th post as a blogger. Somehow I thought this post would be special, or amusing, or something that both of my loyal readers would want to read. Sorry guys.

On to the movie reviews!

Torque - Sufficiently lame. It's done by the same people that did Fast and the Furious and xXx. It's a decent mindless action flick and it's something I can put in and not have to pay attention to and clean or cook or do one of those do it yourself projects around the house I like so much. Usually Ice Cube is dumb in his movies, and this one was no exception. However, his worst actor nod was trumped by Matt Schulze (pictured on the left). Known as Vince in Fast and the Furious and glorified extras in the first two Blade movies, he might be the worst actor in the history of time. Any time you're in a movie made by the same people that made Fast and the Furious that stars Ice Cube and you can walk away with the worst actor award, that's really something. I'm sure Mr. Schulze is a nice guy, and at this point he's type cast in the token bad guy roles so maybe it isn't his fault. Seriously, he was worse than Hayden Christensen in the first three Star Wars movies, and worse than Ice Cube in this movie...and that's bad. Best depiction of white trash for sure goes to Jaime Pressley (pictured right). Mike and I were talking this weekend and he thinks she was created specifically for these roles. Don't get me wrong, she's smoking hot and might have two lines in the movie, but if you were to imagine a girl in a trailer park being hot and becoming an actress, it's her. Hotest girl in a dumb action flic goes to Monet Mazur (the hot one in the middle). Her lines were mostly dumb as were everyone else's in the movie, but she takes the cake for hot chic in this movie and I don't even really like blondes. I could go on, but I'll just tell you if you really like motorcycles, hot girls, stupid bad guys, racial stereotypes, unbelievable (don't read that as exceptionally good...read that as they're not humanly possible) chase scenes, and movies that in general require no thought and let you have the attention span of a two year old while getting some enjoyment out of it, check it out for free if you can.

Next up, The Pianist - I would love to be able to review this movie for you. However, Netflix sent us a copy that cut out halfway through the movie. To me this is not acceptable. They're sending us another one today so I can get a good review of it later in the week. For now you get the first half. To the halfway point, it's good. I can only imagine what it was like living in those times. What sort of enraged me was that the Jewish community said things like "Why doesn't America join the war and help us? Why didn't they do something sooner?" Now, we start a war to free a country and we're considered warmongers. Seriously, do you think people in Iraq wondered why we didn't invade sooner? Probably. Do you think some of them think we should have stayed out? Probably. We can't please everybody and sometimes I wonder why we try. Before I go off on a rant and lose both of my loyal readers I'll stop there. The movie looks good so far and seems to be a good story. I'm not sure I'll watch it over and over, but it's got the makings of a good movie.

I borrowed Mike's extended cut of Sin City and decided to buy my own. I really like that movie, and I also bought Hostel this weekend...both Tarantino movies, both fantastic and wrong in every way possible. If you have the same weird taste in movies that I do you'll probably like them. If you have the same taste as my wife and...well...most of our friends besides Mike you probably won't like them, but seriously that's your loss because they're great movies.