Where have you gone Milton 3P0?

Just when you were all starting to wonder about him. He calls. However, I do have a Milton story in reserve that I'll share with you all now. We were at work one day and two nursing students came in. Neither one of us was using the computer and the nursing students saw my screen saver, which was at the time The Dukes of Hazzard. They commented on it and asked if we'd seen the new Jessica Simpson video. I hadn't and they were shocked. Girl one says "Oh my God! I'm not gay, but after seein that video if Jessica Simpson asked me to be I would. I'd change teams in a heartbeat for her. You have got to see that video!!" I figured this video had to be good. So they leave and I download it for Milton and I to watch. Milton watches the video without a single expression. I'm assuming he doesn't like it because it's not classical. Oh well, it's Jessica Simpson he can deal with it. So the video is over and I went back to using the computer to get our books ordered for the fall. He usually pouted really bad when he couldn't use the computer. So I'm working away and he says "Sir, are you using the computer for business or pleasure at this moment?" Me - "I am using it for business, Milton, do you need to use it? I just played the video at the recommendation of our new friends." Milton - "I see sir. You're trying to appeal to my fun and softer side aren't you? It's working sir." To a guy whose favorite CD is Medival Babes, Jessica Simpson was way out there for him so I suppose watching a music video where she's practicing lap dancing techniques in a bikini washing a 69 Dodge Charger is soft porn to him. Part of him probably enjoyed it, but I'm sure he felt like he was cheating on his medival babes to some degree.

So, as we're all wondering what's become of my former protocol droid, he calls. He's walking across campus and sounds like he's running a marathon. One thing I probably never mentioned about Milton was his weight. He was 6'4" and roughly 350lbs. When I met him, he was happy to be back down at 350 and he was living on the no carb craze. One his favorite things to eat was potatoes, but they were his "arch nemesis" because they had too many carbs. Anyway, he calls and wants me to look up a bunch of phone numbers for him. I sat there for a second and said "Aren't these numbers of people on campus?" Milton - "Sure they are but I don't have them." Me - "Don't you have a campus directory? Couldn't you find them there?" Milton - "Of course sir, that's a fantastic idea. That's wonderful. I can't believe I didn't think of such things on my own. That's why you're the boss sir. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day sir." Now, if that were anybody else I would have thought it to be sarcasm. Milton, sadly really didn't have that idea and now thinks I'm a genius because I did. Oh well, hopefully Grad school is treating him well.