Monday, June 11, 2007

Maxim Loses Credibility

I've been a Maxim reader for a few years now. Off and on through college when they had something that looked interesting, or when they had an insanely hot girl on the cover I'd pick up a copy. When I married my hot wife, she got that for me as a gift and every year I read it less and less because they suck more and more. Every year they do the Maxim Hot 100. Usually they send an add in of some sort in the magazine but as usual my mailman gets that one and I have to look online. This year I think they went over the edge and probably should have just called it "Girls assorted by number of headlines this year." Mostly because Kate Beckinsale was 21st. Even if you've never seen Underworld, you know she's hot. She does her share of girly movies as well, and I don't think you'd find anyone with a pulse that wouldn't sleep with her given the chance. Sadly, Beckinsale isn't the only travesty on this years unforgivable Hot 100. Salma Hayek, Danica Patrick, Lena Heady, and Halle Berry were all outside the top 50. The Olsen Twins were rated higher than Shakira, and Jessica Simpson. The travesty's just get worse. Not only is Cameron Diaz ON the list, she's higher than everyone mentioned above, and Keira Knightley. Seriously, so what if she's already bailed on Pirates 4. She can use a sword and oh yeah...SHE'S HOT where as Cameron Diaz reminds me of Corky from Life Goes On. Worse than that, Ashleey Simpson made the top 20 while her much hotter and more talented sister is back in the 40's somewhere. Eva Longoria ended her two year streak as number one placing just inside the top 10 in ninth place. Angelina Jolie somehow fell out of their top 10. Jessica Biel winds up in fifth place. That one I can kinda understand. Didn't think Christina Aguilera should have been fourth, but that's just me. Scarlett Johannson winds up third. Now, probably the biggest reason they lose all credibility this year is number one and number two. Runner up this year was another personal fav - Jessica Alba. Don't get me wrong, I think she deserves to be in the top five, she might even deserve to be number two. But the winner this year was Lindsay Lohan. Okay, I'm not going to say I never thought she was hot. I did. But currently she's a drug re-habbing crack whore. Do they honestly expect me to believe that in her current state she can stand in the same room with Alba? No. Sorry guys. You suck.

Speaking of losing all credibility. I've been doing Crossfit for about two months now. I LOVE it. They have forums and everyone goes on and posts weights lifted and times completed. Last week we had a workout that was 10 100 meter sprints and we were to post lows and highs to comments. Apparently this one guy was high off his gord because his low was 8.2 and his high was 9.4. Last I checked the world record was 9.79. Do you think maybe you left a number or two out of there? Same guy two days later, different workout. That days challenge was 100 pullups, 100 pushups, 100 situps, and 100 squats. Seems hard right? Don't be fooled...it is. This is a time consuming exercise. Ass face posted that he did it in 13 minutes. Really? The Olympics should be recruiting this ass hat. If he can do all that in 13 minutes and run a 100 meter sprint in eight seconds, he's in the wrong line of work. You think if I could do it I wouldn't have that documented and be on my way to the next Olympic games? If you answered no, you obviously don't know how completely shallow I am.

At any rate, things are still moving along here. Still need to go see Oceans 13 and Hostel II with Mike but it seems my weekends are still filled with projects so no movies as of late. However, we do not intend to miss anything on the list this weekend. More to come this week.

6 Comments:

I don't read Maxim, obviously, but just like People magazines most beautiful issue, it has nothing to do with actually being beautiful, it has everything to do with being popular. I always felt that was kind of like high school. Our "most attractive" boy and girl in hs weren't actually the most attractive...just the most liked.
posted by Blogger Chas at 3:35 PM  
Yeah, or I guess in Maxims case the ones that make the most headlines.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 6:43 PM  
Glad to see your still doing Crossfit...I've put my crossfit on hold and I'm doing more powerlifting stuff. Hit some major PR's this last week so I'm pumped to give it another go around and might actually do a powerlifting meet in november but we shall see.

Additionally I agree with you on the douche bag on crossfit. I think one of the girls needs to show him how it's done...those girls they have can kick some ass...not to mention they are pretty hot themselves!
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 9:54 PM  
Chris - I bet he'd scream like a two year old if one of the Crossfit girls worked him out. They alternate the powerlifting days with kick your ass days so I get a little of both, but I really want to get a lot leaner so I stay away from too much heavy lifting.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 10:01 AM  
Okay this is harsh but the crule reality is the Lindsay Lohan is destroying the world for young girls. Basicly she is a druged up, alcoholic, whore, who needs to be locked away or just plain shot. The only times I read Maxim is for the Hot 100, and the Hometown Hotties. And when Angelina is on the cover. Now I don't think that I will read it at all.
posted by Anonymous Easy E at 9:05 AM  
And when is the hometown hottie from Iowa going to be in the issue? Yes, Lohan is a crack ho that doesn't need to be in the spotlight, or in the top 100. However, when she cracks and does the Playboy cover, I'll probably browse through it.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 9:41 AM  

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