Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Does it come in Black?

The new phone we upgraded to a while ago got a little damp while I was learning to lay tile a few weeks ago. If you were curious, I kick ass at laying tile now. If I can just talk the wife in to laying it in our kitchen, that might rule. Anyway, so two of the keys stop working on the phone and I thought while it was still under warranty I'd go get it replaced. The girl behind the counter when we went in made sure I knew that the phone had been damp and I was lucky because if it had been any more damp she wouldn't replace it. Blah blah blah, you're too self important. Phones get damp when you lay tile and sweat through your clothes. So just to be difficult she said she had to ship me a phone because they didn't keep them in the store. Fine. It finally comes in FedEx a few days later and I'm all excited...open the box...and it's pink. Do I look like someone that would carry a pink phone? Hell no I don't. So I drive to the Verizon place, wait in line for an hour, and ask the new assface behind the counter "Does it come in Black?" The Batman Begins reference is lost on shit for brains here. His only response is "We've never carried a black phone. You ordered a pink one, and you didn't order it here." Then he just stares at me. I can see the girl that ordered the phone for me a week ago and I point to her and say "That's who ordered it. I'm not blaming anyone, but I'm not carrying a pink phone...the nine key is not that important to me." So he taps away at his computer screen and says "No. You did NOT order this phone here, we won't fix it because it's not our problem." So I stare him down for a second and say "I ordered it from her, last week. Sunday to be specific. Phone color was never specified, maybe it's my fault, maybe it's a distribution error. I don't care. I just don't want a pink phone." He hunches over a bit, taps away at his computer, then says "Oh. We did order it for you. Do you want this one?" Silence. I wait until he's uncomfortable and says "Oh...um...will silver be alright? We don't have black." I just nod my head and let him get to work on transferring the phone book over. While I'm there, I see a 400lb woman in the lobby sobbing, boo hooing, and slobbering at the front counter. You can tell the associate helping her isn't comfortable with whatever redneck drama she's brought to her table...so at this point it's a train wreck and I have to stand and watch. She's yelling at the manager, and calling her husband, and calling friends asking if they can text everyone in her phone book and blah blah blah. The manager gets tired of getting drooled on so she walks off. This behemoths phone was stolen in Wally World and she wanted a free replacement. It would seem she opted out of insurance, so the manager offered her a discount since it was an unfortunate situation. This woman would have no part of a discount and called the manager a "not very nice person" in the midst of her slobbering and drooling. So the assistant manager came out and told her if she wouldn't accept that, they just weren't going to do anything with her. Then, she grabs the land line they have, calls everyone she knows again and starts screaming at the top of her lungs "I can tell you people right now that you're not as nice as the people at the other Verizon store! Not near as nice!" Then she started crying and slobbering again and I think everyone there was watching her, including the sales people. This grown woman was literally throwing a temper tantrum. In short, her story was simple. She was sitting on a bench at Wally World, eating her double cheeseburger with an extra large diet coke, went to move her king size snickers bar off her lap, and some woman walks up, opens her purse and takes out her cell phone then walks away. She emphasized that this mysterious woman just walked away. Didn't run, didn't shove her, nothing. Opened her purse, took the phone, walked away. No one thought to ask "Um...if some woman came up and started going through your purse, why didn't you stop her?" Seriously? Why would you NOT stop someone from going through your shit? To me this makes sense, to a 400lb drama queen I'm sure we just don't understand.

Physical Therapy has been going well. I'm still really sore but what he says makes sense so I think I'm getting better and hopefully can be back on the road to being a spartan warrior again soon.


I'm guessing that you have the Razor? Got a nice silver one and I agree...NO PINK.

As for "stolen" phone...Ummm...sure. Whatever lady.
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 7:54 AM  
How? How in the whole world do you find these people? I'm beginning to think they read your blog and search you out. To show you how stupid they are so that you will write about them. I can't figure out how you do it. I never meet this many idiots. But then again I live up North. Maybe our people just aren't as foolish. JK.
posted by Blogger Easy E at 9:13 AM  
Chris - I'm with you on the phone lady. Furthermore, if you have a phone and can't afford payments or a replacement...why do you have a phone?

E-z-E - I'm not sure either. They grow on trees around here. If you spend a few days with us and we don't have an encounter with them here...you might have to relocate.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 12:56 PM  
don't worry man. You'll be back on your knees in no time!
posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 2:34 PM  

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