Monday, September 20, 2004

The Internet Salesman Returns

So, I spent last weekend out of town. However, it appears that I've had a few hits. I was walking through the local Auto Zone this morning before work and I noticed five people in line with the plastic budget spinners in their hands. I asked a couple of them how they thought they were going to work out for them, and the response was priceless. "Man, I've got two friends that have these and they say they're better than the real thing!" Wow. Just to make him feel like he was getting his money's worth, I told him I was putting a set on my wifes new Mustang as soon as I got home. He left thinking he'd made a new friend, and not that he was going to be blasted on the internet. So, it appears budget ride pimping is the newest thing in automotive trends. Lucky for all of you readers, I will be sure to keep you up to date on the latest ways to pimp your ride on a budget. Today's tip would have to be stickers. I don't care what anybody tells you, one car can never have too many stickers on it. My new friend with the budget spinners was found installing them on his very pimped out 84 Chevrolet Cavalier - an obvious choice for pimping. The car was also covered from one side to the other in stickers. Most of them in Japanese. When I asked him what they said - he couldn't even make up something that sounded good. Personally, I think someone knows Japanese and is making these stickers say "I'm a Doofis" so kids like this one can sport them freely and proudly. Seriously - I wonder if I went around taking polaroid pictures of these cars and leaving them on the windsheild if they would see the cars as stupid as the rest of the world does. I almost felt bad, because this poor kid thought I was really putting a set of plastic spinners on my wifes Mustang, and thought that "Man, that's a lot of stickers" was a compliment. If this is what the automotive world is coming to, I'm taking up a different hobby. I think I might take up cross stitching instead.

So, I got to watch a couple of movies this weekend. I rented Dodgeball, and I, Robot. Both were pretty good movies. I laughed so hard I cried when I watched Dodgeball, and I, Robot left me wondering what I had missed. It was good, but I kept thinking that something was left out. I am almost tempted to read the book, and I generally don't like books. However, I did read a book that my wonderful wife purchased for me this weekend. It is "The Oldest Rookie." It's the story of Jim Morris from the Disney movie The Rookie. If you haven't seen the movie, or read the book, I would highly reccomend both of them to you.

I've also decided this week that NBC sucks. I was watching the news as usual and I think I've decided that Regis and Kelly is a better show than those ass clowns. The law says they have to give equal time to both candidates. It would appear that their equal time would be "John Kerry is great, and George W. Bush did coc while his dad was in office so he's evil." I watched Matt Lauer tear him apart because of these alleged drug charges. Who is Matt frickin Lauer to start this fight? I think if I was President Bush, I'd hop on Air Force One and just blow NBC up with no questions asked. It's great that they'd rather see Herman Munster take office, but I honestly don't care. It's a journalists job to give the news impartial without fear or favor. I've officially turned off NBC news in the morning, and now I watch ABC because they don't suck like Katie Couric and Matt Lauer do. Maybe they're not watching the poles, did anyone see the CNN pole this week that said 67 percent of Americans poled were unconfident that John Kerry could handle a crisis situation. If he'd been in office on 9/11, we would have already surrendered and I suppose he'd make Islam the preferred religion in America. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Islam is a fine religion, and every religion has it's place, but John Kerry is a moron and I hope he loses by a landslide. John Kerry is a liberal weiner and does not approve this message.

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