Thursday, June 21, 2007

Five Things...

I should have thought of to say at the Vet last Saturday. Tumbler is doing fine according to his most recent check up. While sitting in the lobby, we were talking to some nice lady with a pit bull (a strangely nice pit bull) and this guy walks in and snickers and me and Tumbler. I didn't say anything since this guy is obviously a total ass face. Then he decides to speak. "I got a cat bigger than your dog you know." So he turns around a cat carrier to show a very very fat ass cat. Seeing as cats are fine, but I just don't care one way or another about them...I didn't say anything. Then his wife turns and says "Oh...that dogs so small. His feet aren't even big. I bet he'll never get any bigger than that." Then they both leave. I wasn't sure what to say to these overly suck up nitwits so I just kept it shut. Mostly because the hot wife was with me and she probably would have been embarrassed. So I came up with a list of five things I should have said for your amusement and mine.

5 - My arms are bigger than yours, my car is faster than yours, and my wife is hotter than yours. Got anything else you'd like to compare?

4 - So you over feed a cat that's how old? My dog is nine weeks old, next time we're here I'll bring some ketchup because my dog will need a snack and that cat is too frickin fat to get away.

3 - I'm sorry. Did someone point to you? No? Then shut the fuck up.

2 - Really? It seems as though you've mistaken me for someone who wants to hear your opinion. Traffic is this outside right now. How about you and the cat go play in it together?

1 - THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!! (followed by a strong kick to the chest)

Oh, if only there was a convenient black hole placed in the front of the vets office...I think that guy might have gone down it with his ugly wife and fat ass cat...but that if course is in a perfect world and not the one we live in. So I just let the guy go on about his day without saying anything. Maybe he got in the car and felt like a total dipshit. But probably not.

3 Comments:

What an idiot! Could he not tell that the dog is a puppy??? I prefer option number 1 by the way.
posted by Blogger Chas at 2:51 PM  
Please have a video camera with you when tumbler is say...12 months old and you run into this guy (make sure tumbler has one of those studded collars and is lunging at the leash). I want to see what his remarks are then. Oh and you should get tumbler trained to attack assholes like this guy!
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 6:39 PM  
Chas - I knew I liked you. Option number one is always my favorite.

Chris - that's actually not a bad idea. It'd be funny to see that guy running scared with a 150lb dog trying to eat him at the end of a leash.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 9:20 AM  

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