Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Five Ringtones...

That people should never use. I know ring tones and ring back tones are the cool thing now, and I've noticed that people have some ringtones and ring-back tones that one should never use. So, lucky for you I'm not very busy today and I compiled a list.

1. Mariah Carey - any of her songs, no matter how often they play them on the radio should NEVER be used. If I call you and Mariah Carey is your ring back tone...you could expect me to never call you again for punishing my ears with that shit. Mariah Carey needs to be one thing...quiet.

2. Matchbox 20. Okay, I know they're back together and if you're a girl, we'll let these slide. However, if you're a dude and you have a Matchbox 20 ring back tone...we all know you're gay so just come out of the closet and get it over with.

3. R. Kelly. Do people still listen to him? Seriously? Yes...in fact they do. One of the ho's came in the other day and her phone was ringing off the hook. I guess I have ho's in high demand huh? I couldn't understand the song, but every time, she sang along. Finally she told me it was R. Kelly. I told her, as I would inform anyone, if I ever have to hear that shit again she's fired.

4. Sean Paul. It took me a minute to figure out who this no talent ass clown was. If you can't understand their shitty music on the radio, what makes you think a three quarter inch speaker on your shitty cell phone is going to make that any different? Sean Paul is blacklisted. If you don't know who he is, I'm not going to tell you. Consider yourself lucky. Please don't piss off the people around you or the people that call you with a very unclever ring tone.

5. Rap in general is banned. Don't get me wrong...we all listened to rap at one point and thought it was great. I still have somewhere around two gigs of Tupac Shakur on my hard drive. But realistically, songs like #1 Stunna, 82 Afros, G, and Till I Collapse (please...stop teasing us with the last one) are pretty much all steaming bowls of elephant piss so for the sanity of the rest of us...please refrain from using these as well.

Ring back tones in general are pretty gay so you should refrain from using those at all costs. Nothing pisses me off more than having five seconds to figure out what stupid song someone has chosen only for it to cut off when they pick up. The only thing that comes close is hearing "Please enjoy the music while your party is reached." Fuck no...not today thank you kindly. I'll not be enjoying anyones ring back tones.

That's about it from the store for today. Happy Birthday to my sister. If I don't get the urge to blog again, Merry Christmas to everybody!


I have no fancy ringtones on my current cell phone, just the ones it came with. I did, however, almost add Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" yesterday...but I didn't...aren't you glad :)?
posted by Blogger Chas at 2:41 PM  
I am...you could at least add Jessica Simpsons version of that song...that's much more tolerable.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 5:39 PM  
where oh where did you go????
posted by Blogger Easy E at 12:45 PM  

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