Thursday, February 07, 2008

BMF Friday

Before this weeks Bad Mother Fucker wallet is given out, I have a small rant. Last week, when Dad and I went to see Rambo, before the movie we had commercials. Not previews mind you, commercials. Not just any commercials, the new iBook commercial, and a KY Intrigue commerical. Tell me, do you know anyone that wants to here a song with the words "la la la" in it and see a personal lubricant ad before the movie starts? Fuck no. We go see Rambo to keep our mind off that stuff. We go to see stuff blow up, gratuitous nudity, and bad guys die in violent ways. Not KY fucking jelly and Mac ads. Okay, I feel better.

This weeks BMF Wallet recipient - Chuck Norris.


Who better to be the second recipient of a BMF Wallet than the man himself? Some facts about Chuck Norris for the non-believers.

1. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter.
2. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.
3. If Chuck Norris is running late, Time better slow the fuck down.
4. Chuck Norris counted to Infinity...twice.
5. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
6. Chuck Norris can make women orgasm simply by pointing at them and saying "Booyah!"
7. Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
8. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
9. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves.
10. If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. Forever.

Just a few of the basic Chuck Norris facts. If you need further explanation, go to Google right now. Type in "Find Chuck Norris" and click the I'm Feeling Lucky Button. Happy BMF Friday everybody!

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