Nine things you'll likely never hear

Slow week at work, so here is nine things you'll likely never hear...

9. "Sure, you can get your deposit back." - from the water company
8. "Sorry I cut you off, I honestly just don't know how to drive."
7. "My cell phone reception is great!"
6. "Yee Haw! That was one GREAT bahmitzfah"
5. "In stores now the Marilyn Manson Christmas Album!"
4. "At the White House today, President Kerry..."
3. "Michael Moore died this morning from obesity and someone cared."
2. "Is this going to hurt, Doctor?" "It's going to hurt like hell, just being honest."
1. "On the Cover of Maxim this month - The Clinton Girls."

Sorry, that's as creative as I can be right now.