Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A product review, the Amazing Farting Barbie Doll, and the new girl sings...

Okay, so at my hot wifes company Christmas party a year ago, we won a cordless mouse. It's been sitting in the basement with me going "Hey, I'm going to hook that up this weekend," ever since. I finally decided I could hook it up last weekend and it sucks. The mouse is made by Kensington with a CDW name. This damn thing jumps all over the place. As soon as you get close to the link you want to click, it moves...all by itself. It's really annoying and now I just have to get made enough to put the old mouse back on. I have a cordless mouse at work that's really nice. Maybe it's the mouse pad, but this thing is horrible.

By now you're all wondering where you can rush out and buy your Amazing Farting Barbie doll. You can't, she works out at the Y and you can't buy and sell people it seems. Seriously. I'm doing my 30 minutes of cardio this morning when a girl that looks like Fitness Barbie comes in. Very trendy, very much wants attention. I think she has more makeup on than clothes, and she was fully clothed. For whatever reason, she choses the LifeFit machine next to me. I'm sure it's not because she thinks I'm good looking as this girl can't see anything but herself. The fact that I'm overweight and married would never factor in. Anyway, she hops up on this machine and just absolutely rips a fart that would make the kids at scout camp say "HEY! You need to excuse yourself! We're in the woods here!" It was so vile I think the paint on the wall started to peel. She just about cleared out the cardio end, but I was only halfway through so I couldn't leave. I just chugged on blue in the face. I know, it's a natural thing, everybody does it, but DAMN! The kids at scout camp had better go hide if they see this girl coming. She carried on like nothing happened, but we all knew it was her.

While I'm on girls that are annoying me. The new girl at work brought her iPod in. Most of the day she was reading a book (pay me to read a book?) but when she was doing some work, she had the iTunes working her way through it. Well, little did she realize she started to sing...very very loud. Everybody got that? That's two very's, not just one. This went on for an hour. I was tempted to record that and play it back for her so she could hear it later. I think the poor rendition of "Rock My World Little Country Girl" that Jeff and I did was better by a lot. We could have won the CMA for best new vocalist with that thing compared to her. This was so bad, and it only got worse when she stood up to dance. I'm not sure who she is trying to get to notice her, but I wish they'd say Hi and be done with it. She needs to be a lot more low key or I'll have to keep a bottle of Tequila at my desk.


Ha..Barbie acted like nothing happened huh? That's great...I'd have loved to have witnessed that. As bold as you are, I'm suprised you didn't say something.
posted by Blogger Chas at 11:19 PM  
LOL!!! Your description of barbie is great. Have not ran across that one yet, but I'll keep my eyes open and nose plugged!
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 12:56 PM  
Chas, I'd thought about saying something. Instead I went back in with amunition of my own today. That might be a little gross (she actually did cough once) but paybacks are rough.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 1:27 PM  
How strange that the new girl would sing and dance like that...

Definately does seem like she wants to be noticed.
posted by Blogger Insanity Infusion at 6:37 PM  
I love my new blog name... it may end up that way if Greg has his way....
posted by Blogger Jenn at 11:38 PM  

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