Thursday, March 02, 2006

BIATCH!!!!

Sorry, I'm venting now. I'm almost finished with my returns for the spring semester. I was shipping the last of them back today with FedEx Ground. Since FedEx is nice enough to charge $11 for a pickup (when they stop next door every day) I drive myself to the FedEx place to drop them off once they're labeled and boxed. They know me at the FedEx place now, they know when they see the Jeep of Doom pull in to the parking lot that I've got six or seven packages to deal with, so they tell me to leave the door open and park by the front door. I got the first two packages inside when another lady shows up. I pushed my stuff to the side and told her to go ahead because mine would take a while. She just gave me a shit eating grin and said "well thanks." I guess she assumed I'd let her go ahead of me anyway. I head back outside, turn around and the door is closed. So I set down this 65lb box I've got down, open the door, prop it back open and drop off another package. I grab the last one and this same lady is getting ready to walk out the door as I'm walking in. She pushes the door closed while she watches me heading for it. I have to assume now that it's her that closed it the last time. I was moving box seven of seven and they're all about 60-65lbs, and I'd just loaded them in to the car. Being as out of shape as I am, I was getting a little winded. I just asked "Lady, what are you doing? Can you not see that I need that door open to carry these boxes in?" She looks at me with this same shit eating grin and says "I guess your mother never taught you any manners. You NEVER leave a door open." I am not happy with this lady as I'm now holding a heavy box in front of an old woman with Ronald McDonald red hair and a closed door. "Lady, they told me to leave the door open so I don't have to contend with the door and this box. What kind of person did your mother raise you to be that would make you color your hair like Ronald McDonald?" She started to mumble under her breath as she walked around the door so I asked - "What was that?" She says "People today have no respect for anyone. That's what your problem is." I said "No, my problem is that a rude bitch with red hair that isn't even believable closed a damn door on me while I was carrying a 65lb box, then told me I didn't have any manners." She didn't have much else to say so I went inside and the guy was headed back to the counter and he said "Man, did you know that lady? She was the rudest woman I'd ever met." I get outside and she's writing down my tag number. I said "What the hell are you doing biatch?" She said she was going to report me for DUI but since my tag is still scraped up from the speeding Volkswagen that hit it, she can't read it. I told her that figured. Anybody with hair that color has got to have some seriously jacked up eyesight. I don't think she wanted to be my friend anymore.

7 Comments:

Classic...man oh man. I can't believe you actually say this stuff.
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 6:30 PM  
Me either. Maybe I should be nicer. I'm not sure what it is but it seems that I bring out the need for people to be complete jackasses when I'm out in public.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 10:24 PM  
Report you for DUI, huh? That's random.
posted by Blogger Chas at 11:05 PM  
Yeah, I guess she thought that would get me in trouble. She probably needed to take a second and think of the trouble it could get her in for making a false report.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 8:32 AM  
I did that to my grandmother. You wait until they are on the road then you call the police, describe the car, give the license plate number and tell them you think this person has been drinking. THEY WILL FIND YOU!

Anywho, if the dumb bitch tries something like that, I know a great lawyer!
posted by Blogger Jenn at 12:13 PM  
You did that to your grandmother? Good lord woman.

Speaking of your lawyer friend, how is he on books? If he's starting his own practice I should be able to help him get started on the books he'll need. We get a pretty good discount through Thomson West.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 5:11 PM  
I mentioned the book thing to him, and he'll get back to you. He's moving into an office that has a pretty sweet library...

And yes, ask Jen about my mother's mother. I'd type her name in, but she probably googles herself, and we can't have that.
posted by Blogger Jenn at 6:08 PM  

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