Tuesday, June 26, 2007

We're the Jones'? Really?

I'm sure you've all heard the phrase "keeping up with the Jones'. Ever wonder who the Jones' are? I always did, because for most of my life I've never wanted to keep up with anyone save for Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean really...if there was ever a definition of awesomeness he has to be it. Moving on. Obviously later in life I figured out what the term meant, and of course everyone has their own Jones' they need or want to keep up with. Personally, I'm 29 years old, I'm fat, and I'm slow. If I have to try to keep up with you, you win. There is nobody's life I'd rather have than my own because I have a hot wife, kick ass friends, and in my own personal way I feel like I rule. I'm sure right now everyone is going "Bitch please! I rule too!" Yes, in everyones own way, we should all rule and all be happy people. We're not everyones Jones', nor should we be anyones.

Side step for another part of the story right quick. When I worked at my last soul sucking job, I worked with a guy we'll just call A. You can assume that to be asshole, asinine, whatever you'd like. Both fit pretty well. We were friends for the most part until we started really hanging out with him and his wife. Then it seemed like he wanted or needed to compete over everything. Didn't matter what. We got married, they were buying a house. We considered buying a house, they were remodeling a house. One day he walked around the office asking what the limits on everybody's credit cards were because he'd just scored ANOTHER credit card with a $5k limit. That wasn't his business so I just told him we didn't carry any credit cards. I probably just should have told him because he decided from then on that mine and the hot wifes parents paid all our bills. After that, in addition to the rest of his preposterous stories I started distancing myself. Then came his affair where he wanted my advice on this girl he was messing around with, and had her call me at work. Um...can you say awkward? Then him and his wife decided to work it out. So his wife, thinking that I'm his best friend would call me at work to see if he was there and if he was really doing what he said. If I had to describe my reaction to this in one word...that word would be "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" After that conversations were limited about anything. When I left to start my own business, he did congratulate me and say he was envious. I just didn't realize his level of envy.

Fast foward to present day. I was going to work out the other morning and I saw his pile of shit sitting outside the gym. I went about my workout, thinking if he saw me he'd come by and tell me how he could do this workout twice in the time it took me to do it once, but never saw him. I left, the car was gone. So I called him at work to say hi. It had been about two years since I really spoke to him anyway, and maybe that would be nice right? WRONG! He's still a douche bag. He immediately started bragging that he'd bought a bigger house, and got a raise, and blah blah blah. Then he said something that made me think all this time he felt like he had to keep up with us. "Hey man...uh...I was in your neighborhood the other day...visiting...uh...some people we know...ya know...and...uh...did you get a new Charger?" He has NO reason to be in our neighborhood, other than to check up on us which he does. Do I think he has friends in our neighborhood? No. Not a chance. Not that we're an elitist neighborhood or anything, but when you say "Oh...I can't remember their names now" you're lying. Why? Because if we go visit someone, I know their names...or I can tell you why we were there. Not that I'm super smart, but realistically it's not that hard to do. I'm sure LittleGirl doesn't have trouble with this and I don't know that she's speaking yet. This stupid bastard comes by just to look at our house, and I wouldn't be suprised if the dumb shit looked in the windows while we were gone. I ended our conversation when he said "Yeah, we looked at one of those (chargers) but I think we want something a little nicer that gets a little better gas mileage." So I said I had to go and he said "Oh, well next time you guys are having a cookout at your house let's get together." So he knows we cook out? Hmmm...I wonder how he'd know that since he's never seen the inside of the house.

For whatever reason, we seem to be the people he needs to keep up with and the dumb shit would spend any amount of money to do it. I guess since in my own personal mirror I rule, I can't imagine envying someone to the point of stalking. Are we the only ones with this problem? Does everybody work with assholes that drive by their house to see where and how they live? To me, this is a bit odd...but what do I know?

2 Comments:

What a loser!!
posted by Blogger Chas at 4:26 PM  
Amazing isn't it?
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 3:09 PM  

Links to this post:

Create a Link