Happy St. Patrick's Day...now please don't be stupid.

Well, it's St. Patrick's day. It's not enough that I have to wear green, it seems that people are still stupid enough to go "Hey! Your name is Patrick! It's your day, right?" Okay, seriously. That wasn't amusing when I was in second grade and it's not amusing now that I'm 26. It's just not. I have heard that 37 times today. No, it's not my birthday (thank the Lord), and they're not letting me have free reign at work.

Outside of that, I fully plan on having an Irish Car Bomb (Guinness and Bailey's) tonight along with some green beer if that's possible. I do not plan on speaking in an Irish accent or dancing a jig because my name is Patrick. I will also not wear a T-shirt that says "You must be Irish, 'cause my Penis is Dublin," or pins that say "Kiss my I'm Irish." I'm not Irish, I don't even have red hair. If you want to kiss me, you'll probably get beat up by my wife and I'm sure no woman wants to get beat up for kissing a fat guy named Patrick on St. Patrick's day.

Have a very Happy and Safe St. Patrick's Day and please drink responsibly. Tomorrow, we'll bring you new rules and regulations for working out in a public facility such as the YMCA.