Reverend Raul
Yes friends, it's true. According to the Universal Life Church I, Raul, am an ordained minister. Why you ask? Simple.
A few months ago my brother-in-law and his fiance were planning on getting married in the bahamas. They had rented a nice place, invited immediate family on both sides, and then the people they'd been working with said "Oh, by the way. We're quadrupling the price on you so instead of paying $4k for the week is going to be $20k, is that going to be a problem?" Needless to say after an exchange of words they got their money back and haven't decided on a new location. So, we were talking the other night and I threw out a suggestion of a place they'd visited a few summers ago together and they kinda laughed because this place has no chaplin on staff. So I said "Well, I'll go become an ordained minister. It's not that hard, and I can marry you guys for free." They kinda laughed, so I found this church online that ordains you to do weddings, christenings, baptisms and other such things online and signed up. I did get a letter that said "Dear Rev. Raul" and told me all the great things I had now as a minister. I was also told not to say that I was ordained "online" as I was in fact ordained by brother Kevin from the the church who is a real person and not a computer.
So, with the new skill in hand I called everyone I knew and offered to marry them in a Ming the Merciless outfit. My sister is getting married in October and she said "You don't even own a Ming the Merciless outfit!" Well, 24 hours ago I wasn't an ordained minister now was I? For all those who don't know who Ming the Merciless is, here you go -
For anyone that may need a minister for baptisms, weddings, or a simple renewal of your vows, I'm happy to be here for you.
A few months ago my brother-in-law and his fiance were planning on getting married in the bahamas. They had rented a nice place, invited immediate family on both sides, and then the people they'd been working with said "Oh, by the way. We're quadrupling the price on you so instead of paying $4k for the week is going to be $20k, is that going to be a problem?" Needless to say after an exchange of words they got their money back and haven't decided on a new location. So, we were talking the other night and I threw out a suggestion of a place they'd visited a few summers ago together and they kinda laughed because this place has no chaplin on staff. So I said "Well, I'll go become an ordained minister. It's not that hard, and I can marry you guys for free." They kinda laughed, so I found this church online that ordains you to do weddings, christenings, baptisms and other such things online and signed up. I did get a letter that said "Dear Rev. Raul" and told me all the great things I had now as a minister. I was also told not to say that I was ordained "online" as I was in fact ordained by brother Kevin from the the church who is a real person and not a computer.
So, with the new skill in hand I called everyone I knew and offered to marry them in a Ming the Merciless outfit. My sister is getting married in October and she said "You don't even own a Ming the Merciless outfit!" Well, 24 hours ago I wasn't an ordained minister now was I? For all those who don't know who Ming the Merciless is, here you go -
For anyone that may need a minister for baptisms, weddings, or a simple renewal of your vows, I'm happy to be here for you.
6 Comments:
/Mike