Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Eco-Retards

Hello friends, Reverend Raul coming to you with another famous, or hardly tolerable, rant about environmentalists. Typically my stance on them has always been "let the stupid bastards freeze in the dark." Since my induction in to the ministry, I've thought maybe I should be nicer. Unfortunately, I'm wrong. I stumbled on this blog yesterday and I think since we probably can't legally shoot them, we should educate them.

For those that don't want to read what retarded people write on their blogs, let me explain. Actually that would take too long. Let me summarize. This particular retard has come to a great revelation in his life. Instead of buying a new car, he's discovered that there is ONE place on the earth that will rebuild an engine for you instead of spending the money on a new car, thus reducing cars sent to junk yards which are polluting the environment. To this guy, who apparently has had his head in his ass since birth, this is a great new technology. When I read his article yesterday, two of his followers told him that he came up with the greatest ideas. I hate to break the news to this Think Green Buffoon, but people have been rebuilding and building new engines since the birth of the automobile. One could safely say that this has been a practice for 100 years. That's even before his pot smoking parents tripped on acid at Woodstock and conceived his stupid ass in a pile of their own vomit.

So realistically, I know that Reverend Raul doesn't have all the answers, but it seems to me the one thing most of the "save the environment" people (call them hippies, eco-retards, or just plain annoying, I don't care) really lack is education. Sure, they went to school somewhere and learned that big corporations are bad because their Philosophy professors told them they were, and now they all have degrees in philosophy with minors in political science and they spew forth their insanely unaware rhetoric more and more and we're forced to listen to it because they think everyone else doesn't know what's best for them and we should all just let the government control every aspect of our lives. At any rate, I can only hope that education about basic things would help. Any person who thinks that rebuilding old engines is a great way to save the environment probably drives a Toyota Prius and spends too much time at Starbucks drinking non-fat mocha soy espresso latte's while listening to shitty indie bands with their friends thinking that if only people rebuilt their engines, the world would be a better place.

At first I thought this was a joke, and that maybe a 12 year old had written it. Nope. Unfortunately, Benjamin Jones is a student at Dartmouth College that writes for the EcoModder.com, and CollegeVegan.com. Yes friends, todays retard is also a Vegan because eating meat makes people fart and that's bad for the environment too. Not only that, apparently all this no talent ass clown does is write about hybrid technology, global warming, and the dangers of meat. Unfortunately for him and his friends, he's blind to the fact that hybrids are worse for the environment than cars with no emissions controls at all. Don't even get me started on the fake meat that vegetarians eat. If you can't pronounce what's on the package, how is that somehow better for you than meat with no preservatives?

Well, for now I guess it's time to go fire up the old Cuda since it has no catalytic converters and drive two or three tanks of gas out of it. When I'm done with that, it's steak for dinner, mashed potatoes with extra bacon, and if I get really angry I'll have it on an old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam plate that I will put in the woods rather than in the trash. That should pretty much counter act everything Mr. Jones has done this week to save the world from people like me.

5 Comments:

I am totally with you on this one. I love it. Being a man in the automotive industry himself, I can only think to myself "Does this f**kjob understand anything he is ranting about?" He must be thinking he is starting some sort of "movement". Anyway, you hit the nail right on the head with this guy. Nice to get some humor today. How's the weather down there? We have snow in the forecast for this evening and tomorrow. Go away snow. I want to hit the boat and do some friggin' golfing. Like yesterday!!!
We actually had some snow flurries early this week, where last week it was somewhere around 75. It's trying to warm up and the high today was in the 60's. Hopefully warmer weather is on the way.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 3:30 PM  
I do agree with you on some of this. Rebuilding engines? Seriously?? Maybe it would help, but it certainly isn't new technology, as you explained.

While I do think we need to take care of this planet and do everything we can to keep it in once piece since it's a gift from God, which I'm sure you can appreciate since you're now a Reverend ;), I do think some of the things go overboard. I do think we should recycle everything we can. I do think compost piles are a good idea if you can have one (I don't). I do believe in global warming...I don't listen to hippies, but I do listen to science, and there's way more science to back it up than to dispute it. So...all in all, I'd like to say that being eco-friendly is a noble thing...but unfortunately b/c of crazy people, it's gotten a bad rep.
posted by Blogger Chas at 4:47 PM  
I think the real problem is the hippies, and the EcoModder.com Vegans like this guy take a little bit of science that they hear or read in their EcoModder.com weekly and take it as gospel. Then they tell everyone else this one piece of information they've gotten and everyone over reacts to it and before you know it, hippies think that cars in general kill the environment and we should all drive hybrids with earth killing $8k batteries in them.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 6:06 PM  
Science doesn't really support global warming all that well, it just happens to be popular at the moment. Science used to support global cooling. Scientists are given WAY too much credit for being noble and honest. Fund their research and they are going to have "findings" that just so happen to match the goals of your organization. Amazing!

And at this point, what scientist is going to do research into global warming being BS? Nobody is if they want to remain credible to their coworkers and the rest of the industry. Who would fun that anyways?

I agree that its possible global warming is happening, but its also pretty seriously arrogant of people to think we can really have that much effect on the environment. It's way too complex for people to even begin to understand.
/mike
posted by Anonymous Anonymous at 6:01 PM  

Links to this post:

Create a Link