Monday, March 03, 2008

In Vino Veritas

That's Latin for "In Wine is Truth" or literally "when I'm drinking I speak my mind." So Reverend Raul helped a friend celebrate his 30th birthday this weekend. The only rule was bring your own alcohol. Not a problem, but I did have to write down some ground rules for things Reverend Raul needs to do if he ever decides to drink again.

1. Buy the smallest bottle possible. I bought the $5 bottle because it was pretty small. I should have bought the $2.50 bottle because it was half that price and half the amount. I finished off the five dollar bottle before 9:00.

2. Never tell your friends that you have never had a hangover. Apparently upon hearing this your friends will take it as a personal challenge to see if they can make you puke from drinking or be hung over the next day. Yes, it's true - Reverend Raul has never had a hangover nor has he puked from drinking. This still holds true even after drinking a fifth of liquor by himself the other night.

3. Wear a crash helmet. Honestly everything after Guitar Hero is a blur. I do remember trying to sing along with Social Distortions (a Raul Fav) "Story of My Life" and never actually completing the song or singing on key. There might even be a picture of it somewhere but I'm doing my best to keep it off the internet.

4. Never trust that they tell you it's not that strong. Once your friends have decided that the goal is to get you so drunk that you don't remember anything they all take the opportunity to make you a great drink, or shot. Apparently back to back I slammed a rocks glass full of rum and chased it with a rocks glass full of tequila. Yes, I typically drink my liquor straight and apparently the drunker I get the larger the single servings get.

5. NEVER...EVER...EVER do karaoke. If someone can call you the next day and say "I didn't know you knew all the words to Billie Jean" you're in trouble. Karaoke should really only be done sober if you have to do it at all.

6. Always have someone to tell you what happened or tell you when to stop. Since I don't get hung over or puke and all liquor eventually gets processed in the machine that is Rauls liver, I stay drunk for a really long time. The problem is, details start becoming fuzzy after a while. No...not fuzzy. Black holes. I can remember pieces of it and I usually have to take a great deal of time trying to figure out the details. 24 hours later I'm usually calling to apologize for something or offering to replace a window or two (thus the need for a crash helmet). Also, someone like my lovely wife to come over and tell you when you're about to say something you shouldn't is usually a good thing. Not that you'll listen, but it's a good safety net to have anyway.

So that's it from here today. Still recovering from a cold that somehow the mass quantities of alcohol didn't destroy, and I'm on Spring Break. No guarantees on updates this week, but I'll try to update a couple more times regardless.

4 Comments:

Yeah I sound like that. Never hungover and never puked...so yeah I can see where friends would want to do that. Glad you were able to hold your own!
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 9:06 AM  
Vomit free since 93 homey! I might actually never drink again, but we'll see.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 11:33 AM  
Can't say I have never puked or been hung over. Actually the hung over part is in-escapable for me. Kind of one of those people that doesn't stop when he should. Not much of a puker. For my 30th last August I was on a 4 day binge. The 5th day I wanted to die. I had the DT's.
DT's? I can honestly say I've never had more than one day in a row of heavy drinking. I usually space them out because I too am a guy that doesn't stop when he should.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 8:06 AM  

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