Monday, April 21, 2008

30 and Grocery shopping...

Well, I turned 30 and it wasn't so bad. The wife had a big party planned and I grilled a few burgers for some friends. Cold Beer, Margaritas, and the occasional shots of rum and tequila mixed in with some board games and good times. The only real drawback is that now I can't say "I'm 29...not 30 yet." Other than my drivers license having our new address on it (yeah, it took me that long to update) not much has changed. Except for of course what you buy in the grocery store.

I have noticed that I look more at how much sodium and cholesterol is in everything we consider taking home. Most things that look good, and probably even taste really good, are usually so loaded with calories that eating them offers the same health benefits that living on bacon grease for a month offers you. My hot wife and I looked at some new breakfast bowls in the freezer section thinking they would be good. After reading the nutritional information and finding out they had only slightly less sodium than a 10lb tub of Morton Salt, she instructed me to put them back. It's no wonder we have an obesity problem in this country. People don't realize that some of these "meals" that don't fill them up are actually four servings and the entire thing has a gazillion calories. Anyway, it sucks to have to take notice and to not eat pizza nearly as often as you want...but I guess it's the price of living longer and not being a huge fat ass.

The other thing I can't seem to wrap my head around is vegetarian meat. Yes, that's an oxymoron all on it's own. Maybe everyones grocery store doesn't have this, but we live near a large vegetarian (Seventh Day Adventist) community so I guess the stores have to cater to them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the vegetarian lifestyle...no wait...I am. Because they're cheaters! They're a bunch of non-committal grass eaters! At our store you will inevitably have to walk by the veggie aisle and you will find "beef substitutes," "soy beef," or some variation of the two. To me, this is cheating. You wanna give up meat, you don't get to eat stuff that tastes like it. If I give up beer, you won't see me drinking malt beverages or beer substitutes because it's frickin cheating! I think if they're really going to be vegetarian for religious reasons, that's respectable and I don't condemn that. If you're a fucking hippie and you think that you're making some stupid political statement by giving up meat because "vegetable proteins are better" or you think that farting cows are contributing to global warming, I hope you and I never meat...err...meet. Because I will inevitably try to feed you bacon disguised as a chocolate shake, or something else that looks innocent. Really people. Fake fucking beef? They have sausage, turkey, chicken, and beef substitutes on these aisles. And they all say "Tastes just like (insert meat here)!!!" No it doesn't! Do you know what tastes just like chicken?? CHICKEN!! Not some fake soy protein concoction of tree bark and recycled coke bottles that's pressed in to sheets that look like exotic drink coasters. Anyway, my wife and I discussed last night that I thought they were non committal assholes who should just give up and eat the real thing because they're only fooling themselves. She of course said that I was wrong which meant I had to put it on the blog. Because honestly, I don't think they should be allowed something that tastes just as bad as it looks (because unfortunately I have tried them) but calls itself a beef substitute. It's just wrong...on numerous levels.

That's todays rant. Hope everyone is doing well. This is the part where I tell you I promise I'm going to try to blog more but in the end I'll probably forget and let another two weeks go by before I blog again. So I hope everyone is well and I'll try my best to entertain you again soon.

2 Comments:

I like the rant Rev! I'm with you on this topic. Glad your 30th went well and that you're coping with it o.k. It's alright not to blog for two weeks. Look at me. If you do it everyday it means you really have to be creative with what you post. I would rather let a few things stack up and have alot to say in one posting. Look forward to more posts. Take care and have a great time adjusting to 30. I'll be 31 in just 4 months.
Good day!
Happy belated birthday!!

My last boyfriend before Jason was Seventh Day Adventist. Most of them are vegetarians (many vegans even), but he wasn't. He explained to me that it's not against the SDA beliefs in general to eat meat, but part of their belief system is to maintain a healthy diet and that a meaty diet is generally viewed as less healthy...so many just opt out of the meat. I never could make myself try the meat substitutes that his friends used. I didn't even really agree with it....you can eat healthy and still eat meat in my opinion.
posted by Blogger Chas at 5:57 PM  

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