The simplest things in life - are still simple.

So, I'm at the YMCA the other day going about my usual routine. I don't know how many Y members we have, but at this YMCA, you can get a free T-shirt after so many visits. You have a stupid little card that you have to get the staff member behind the counter to sign, and while it's stupid that they can't give you a shirt after 36 scans of your membership card - it's not very hard to figure out. Some days I have my card signed, some days I don't. I honestly don't need any more T-shirts, so it just isn't a big deal to me. I usually just take time to do it when I need another minute to wake up. This guy in front of me hands over his card, and it has two signatures. Just to make sure everybody's up to speed here - it takes 36 signatures to get a free t-shirt. This guy goes "Can I go ahead and get my free shirt? I've been here 36 times this month, but they don't always sign my card." Now, the card can only be signed once per day and it says that on the card. From the look of this guy, he might have driven my it 36 times on his way to the Dunkin Donuts. He continues to argue with the girl behind the counter - who also isn't awake yet because it's still too early. Then, he turns to me for backup. If only he had known. He says to me "Don't you agree - this is crap! I've been here enough times to get a shirt, and I think I should get one." My response was simple. "Sir, this girl works here part time and could care less if she gives you a shirt or not. The card says you need 36 signatures, and you have two. She can't give your dumb ass a shirt until you have 36 signatures. I know it's early, but I can't imagine why this is so hard for you to comprehend. If you're here that often, get the card signed and stop giving this girl this crap - she doesn't need it and neither do the rest of us. Let her sign your card, and go work out or go home." Maybe I should have been nicer to the poor guy, but going to the gym in the morning is frustrating anyway because my workout partner sucks and they don't have enough free weights at this place.

The guy gives me dirty looks through his entire workout and I said "Hey man, no hard feelings. How about you and I go for a cup of coffee when we're done. I've got a free coffee card for the local Starbucks. Maybe you can tell them between the two of us, we've drank enough coffee to get a free cup even though I have half the required punches on the card. After that, we'll go to Subway - I've got a stamp on one of there cards too." Amazingly, he didn't get my point but he stopped giving me dirty looks. How hard is it to understand something that is written with red ink? I mean - 36 required signatures to get a T-shirt that you're going to use as an oil rag in three weeks is not that hard. If the shirts were particularly cool - I could see where he's coming from. The shirts aren't cool! They say YMCA on them! How hard is this to comprehend?

I think my good friend Jeff said it best today when he said "I can't believe someone can say they're going to vote for John Kerry and keep a straight face." Maybe these two stories are unrelated - but somehow I think this guy had a John Kerry sticker on his car.