Pick a side, choose your team, cut the drama...no one likes a drama queen.
So, we go out with some friends last night. It was supposed to be dinner and a movie at home - no such luck. It was Bartender's night out at Chili's and since we're friends with more than half the people that work in those restaurants we were invited. Most of them had been drinking since 2:30 in the afternoon so they were well hammered when they arrived. I'm not much on getting hammered, but to each their own. Among this diverse group of people was a gay couple. Well, one of these guys is straight up gay, the other one just pretends to be for whatever reason. He says he's gay, but loves women, more importantly loves groping women. Then he says he doesn't know if he's gay. Let me give you a little help here man. If you pretend to be gay so you can grope women, or experiment with gayness to see what it's like - you're gay. You are voted off my heterosexual island. You can't play for both teams and be undecided. You want to play for both teams, go ahead. You're still voted off the island. You can fly off with your fairy wings if you like, but you're gone.
The thing that makes me the most mad about this is that he kisses one of my good friends girlfriends on the lips. Then he says "It's okay..I'm gay! Tee Hee Hee Hee!" No, that's not okay. He was informed that he got one of those for free and was no longer allowed. I thought my friend handled it very well. Personally, I would have ripped his lips off and fed them to my dog. He doesn't see the problem with this - kiss my wife and see where that gets you. While he's arguing with him, I thought maybe I should help out. I said "Well, just look at it like you're playing UNO. One is all you get, the next one has consequences." Then this undecided fairy turns on me like I've done something wrong and says "You're not allowed to say that." I'm not a violent guy, but when a 90 pound candy-ass that can't decided if he likes pitching or catching smarts off to me I've been known to turn green...green like the Hulk and it's not pretty. He was informed that I'm a friend of both of them and I'm just having fun. So he shuts up. Seeing as he weighs 90lbs and I'm holding strong at 230 (nope, not going to make the 200lb mark by 4/11), he's at a disadvantage. So, he gets mad and decides he's going to leave because he's made everyone mad. He throws a temper tantrum and cries like a 12 year old girl. I guess I was supposed to care, but I just didn't. He'd already been voted off the island at that point.
Seriously man, be gay if you want. Don't pretend to be for attention or for women - because that makes you a flat out loser. I have a don't ask, don't tell policy. Play for a team, play for both teams, cut the drama shit. I don't have room in my life to take lip from a fairy drama queen.
The thing that makes me the most mad about this is that he kisses one of my good friends girlfriends on the lips. Then he says "It's okay..I'm gay! Tee Hee Hee Hee!" No, that's not okay. He was informed that he got one of those for free and was no longer allowed. I thought my friend handled it very well. Personally, I would have ripped his lips off and fed them to my dog. He doesn't see the problem with this - kiss my wife and see where that gets you. While he's arguing with him, I thought maybe I should help out. I said "Well, just look at it like you're playing UNO. One is all you get, the next one has consequences." Then this undecided fairy turns on me like I've done something wrong and says "You're not allowed to say that." I'm not a violent guy, but when a 90 pound candy-ass that can't decided if he likes pitching or catching smarts off to me I've been known to turn green...green like the Hulk and it's not pretty. He was informed that I'm a friend of both of them and I'm just having fun. So he shuts up. Seeing as he weighs 90lbs and I'm holding strong at 230 (nope, not going to make the 200lb mark by 4/11), he's at a disadvantage. So, he gets mad and decides he's going to leave because he's made everyone mad. He throws a temper tantrum and cries like a 12 year old girl. I guess I was supposed to care, but I just didn't. He'd already been voted off the island at that point.
Seriously man, be gay if you want. Don't pretend to be for attention or for women - because that makes you a flat out loser. I have a don't ask, don't tell policy. Play for a team, play for both teams, cut the drama shit. I don't have room in my life to take lip from a fairy drama queen.
6 Comments:
He likes men. He won't hit on you if you're not gay, and he certainly wouldn't be kissing Jen on the lips.
I think you have the Drama Queen Fairy part just about right. What a prick.
If I were to ever pretend to be anything to get a girl, gay is not even the last thing that would cross my mind. It's just wrong on all fronts.