Sunday, April 03, 2005

Hello Drunk Girl, pleased to meet you.

So, we go out to dinner last night with some friends. It was a dinner where a group of us shared three or four entrees and it was fun. Well, here we are waiting for dessert and drunk girl walks up. This isn't a bar we are at, but they do serve alcohol. I was somewhat shocked, as was everybody else at the table. So here stands drunk girl - right next to me in someone elses coat, but otherwise dressed up quite nice to be this far gone. She looks at us, doesn't say excuse me amongst the 13 different conversations flying around this table and says "Can I pay one of you guys $40 to take me home? I just live across the river." I'm always up to help someone, but I kid you not this girl could have walked home in the time it took this conversation to take place. I said "Yeah, but did you want to join us for dessert first? We'll be happy to take you home as long as you're not armed." This she did not find amusing and responded with "I just LOATHE calling a cab," like she's English royalty. So she walks off, only to turn around and ask us again. We agreed to take her home, but $40 was a little too much for the 200 yards we'd be carrying her. We finish dessert, pay the tab and off we go. In the car she says "Okay, you have to run by an ATM so I can get your $40 out for this service your providing me with." That amount of money would have been fine if I was driving across town, or to another city. I told her the ATM fee would be more for her to get the money out than I'd burn in gas so she just went on about how nice we were, and that we were "the most super people ever." So, the four minutes we were in the car together - we got the life history. We learned that she's moved here from South Carolina to obtain some anonimity because no one in her town likes her mom. Nice. As if that wasn't bad enough, she's admiring the construction and how nice it is to walk around town. My thoughts are "You could have walked your happy ass home," but I kept them to myself. Just as we're about to get to her house she says "Don't you find sidewalks enchanting?" Well sure - who doesn't find a well laid sidewalk somewhat mystical? I wasn't even sure where to take that one so I left it alone as we were pulling in to the driveway - her 10 foot driveway. She says "Oh, don't pull all the way up you'll never be able to back out of here." It's straight and it's three or four car lengths long. I was able to get from the restaurant to her house, and I'm pretty sure this driveway is no challenge. So she attemps to jump out of the car to keep us from pulling up in the driveway. Then she's out of the car telling us what great people we are, and that we just seem nice. Well, at this point I can see why she's offered $40. It's a fee for tolerating her drunk ass for the longest four minutes of the year. She wasn't bad, and it did make for a good blog so I really can't complain. I hope everyone else had just as good of a weekend as we did!


Patrick, I am posting here first. Not sure why. Elizabeth Grace was born at 5:33 CST on Sunday. Check the comment on Jenn's blog for details. Hopefully she will neevr be dumb or drunk enough to pay 40 bucks for a 4 minute car ride. Congrats on that though.
posted by Blogger Greg at 1:15 AM  
Congratulations Greg and Jenn! Glad to know all is well, we look forward to seeing pictures of the new Baby Hooters.

Yes, I agree. Hopefully she won't be drunk enough to find sidewalks enchanting or pay $40 for a car ride home.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 9:46 AM  
You're right, it did make for good blogging....I "LOATHE calling a cab"....that's too funny...when was the last time you even saw a cab in this city??
posted by Blogger Chas at 10:53 PM  
Very unusual. We have a guy that I worked with that was done with a drunk one night, single guy, pulled up to a stoplight and someone got into his car and asked him to take him a couple of blocks. Being drunk at the time he agreeded. Let the guy off in the not so nice part of the neighborhood. Was almost home when he realized the guy had taken his wallet. Went back down to find the guy and ended up with his jaw wired shut. A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ran across a guy who was in a bad mood (broken up with a girlfriend or something and thought my friend had looked at him wrong) and sucker punched him. Wired jaw for about 6-8 weeks.
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 5:14 PM  
This just cracked me up....

I'd hate to see what I looked like when I've been drunk in public...

It messes with your mind I tell you... :)
posted by Blogger Insanity Infusion at 1:49 PM  

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