Tuesday, May 10, 2005

10 Reasons Mary should let Jeff get a Jeep.

So, I've been talking to El Jefe lately and he said he needed my secret to convince his wife to let him have a Jeep. My secret is that I got it when we first started dating and didn't tell her what I was out doing. So, since Jeff is my numero uno - I figured I'd help him out with the Jeep thing. Here are 10 Reasons Mary should let Jeff get a Jeep...

10. Jeeps are cool. Not only are Jeeps cool, they increase your level of coolness. Jeff in a Jeep would be the coolest thing ever. Chics dig Jeeps, kids dig Jeeps, everyone knows Jeeps are cool. Jeeps are so cool they make people happy.

9. YOU LIVE NEAR THE BEACH!! Okay, this one is a given. If you live near the beach you should have a Jeep to throw all of your stuff in and head down for the afternoon. There is no more liberating feeling than hopping in a vehicle with no doors and go somewhere...anywhere.

8. You'd get to drive it...I'm sure. Since gas prices are out the roof and Jeeps get around 18mpg's there is a good chance you'd get to drive it to work on occassion. You would be the envy of your friends at work (not that you aren't already, but this would add to it - I assure you).

7. Jeeps regrow hair! Okay, Jeeps don't really regrow hair but that isn't a problem that either of you need solved right now.

6. No top is liberating. Trust me, driving to work in the summer time with no top and doors makes you forget how much working can suck. Nothing is worse than being confined by a roof on a beautiful day. It's like being in prison.

5. Jeeps can get you out of a jam. Trust me on this one. How many times have you been sitting in traffic going "If I could only hop this curb I could get out of this mess." Or "Man, if I had 4WD we'd be out of here in a jiffy." You can argue that other SUVs have 4WD but their arguements are null and void. Jeep invented and wrote the book on 4WD, nothing else even comes close. When was the last time a CRV or a Rav4 hopped a curb and didn't have to stop to see what part of their car was laying on the sidewalk they'd just tried to hop? Exactly - I've never seen it either.

4. Owning a Jeep gives you new friends. Jeep people take care of their own. When my Jeep was jammed in to a concrete barrier four people in Jeeps that I'd never seen before stopped to ask if I was alright and see how the Jeep was. The person that was next to me that I almost hit got mad that I'd held him up and drove off. The only other person besides my hot wife (then hot fiance) was someone I used to work with. Every other Jeep owner will wave at you because you are in a Jeep. We are a secret society of the coolest people in the world. Don't you think Jeff needs to be among the coolest people in the world?

3. Jeeps are tough. There is a reason the US Postal Service has always used Jeeps. There is also a reason they say "Rain, Sleet, or Snow - the mailman always delivers." The mailman always has a Jeep. Not an Isuzu, Toyota, Honda, Ford or GM. The USPS knows what's up.

2. Jeeps are Reliable. I'm happy to say that at 140,000 miles my jeep uses no oil, leaks no fluids, and has never left me stranded. All of my Jeep friends are the same way. You could argue that other brands are reliable too, but mine has never been in the shop in going on six years now.

The number one reason that Mary should let Jeff get a Jeep is....

1. Jeeps are safe. Don't believe me? I've wrecked mine twice. Once I hit a Suburban and drove away, the other time I was hit by a speeding Volkswagen spun three times and hit a concret barrier wall twice. Not only could I drive away, I was unhurt and wasn't wearing seatbelt. When was the last time someone could step out of a CRV with that claim? Wait! There's more! The Jeep was fixable! The suburban I hit was totalled (yeah, that was my fault) and the VW was too. The Jeep is the only thing I've owned and wrecked that was easily fixed after both wrecks. Again, how many CRV's do you see that have hit anything more substantial than a mail box that aren't on the back of a trailer headed to the crusher? The Jeep was the only vehicle at both wrecks that drove away under it's own power. Hopefully I've made a good enough case for Jeff and Mary will read this with an open mind. If not, I'll probably have to find somewhere else to stay next time I visit the Jeff and Mary area.

3 Comments:

LOL I used to want a Jeep. Then I got old and realized that 3 carseats won't fit in one. I don't drive a minivan so I guess I'm not quite over the hill yet. ;)
posted by Blogger manababies at 9:56 PM  
I think most everyone needs a Jeep at least once. That's actually why I got my Jeep. The guy's wife that owned said he couldn't have it because she didn't want her kids riding in it. Her car was a 1980 Tercel Wagon or something like that. It was a real POS.
posted by Blogger Raul Duke at 11:21 AM  
I drove my father in laws CJ5 when I was back home a couple of years ago. I was hooked. I loved that thing. When I get back west I think I might pick one up for running around on the back roads. Awesome vehicle!!!
posted by Blogger Chris D. at 2:56 PM  

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