Sunday, August 20, 2006

Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)

The new music video by Cobra Starship as featured on the Snakes on a Plane soundrack! I've had it with these motha fuckin snakes on this motha fuckin plane! The blonde in this video looks like Parker Posey, and is smokin hot!

Movie Review, Snakes on a Plane

Well, I was waiting for the summer blockbuster and I guess this was it. The wife opted out of thise one and she missed out. Do you know why? Because this was Snakes On a Motherfuckin Plane!!!!! I attempted to post the Snakes on a Plane video here, but it didn't work. I'll try again later. Instead of the hot girl from the video shaking her naked self on my blog, I'll subject you to the following...

Quick plot rundown is basically a kid witnesses a murder and Samuel L Jackson is the FBI agent that finds him and gets him in to witness protection to testify against the murderer. The murderer being some sort of important asian mob guy puts poisoness snakes on the plane and uses a chemical to make them insanely aggressive and attack people. Samuel L. Jackson is his usual genius, and the movie is funny, scary, action packed, and edge of your seat. There is even a mile high sex scene between two stoned kids. All in all I liked the movie, I give it two thumbs up, five stars, and a big hoo ha! Go see it. If for no other reason...IT'S SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

An update for anyone still around

Okay so it's been a while for me, but man have I been busy. I've had days here lately where no matter what preparations I make I still feel like I'm standing behind this counter getting my ass whipped repeatedly. I'll take it though. Business is not so bad this year. I think I've finally figured most of this out and hopefully I can start making this place successful. Keep your fingers crossed for me. So, as usual I hire seasonal help. I usually look for students that seem like they need help with their books, or seem like they have a good head on their shoulders. Occassionally if I get a student that just checks our prices and has to buy from the evil campus store because of financial aid, I'll throw a job opportunity at them. This semester, since I don't have the help of Mikes girlfriend Tiffany, I had to hire pretty much an all new staff. My first recruit was probably my best hire. Not because she works exceptionally hard, or is especially good with people...she works in Freshman Orientation. In a way I feel bad for her because they're likely going to fire her when they find out she's working here. She really enjoys what she does on campus and seems to have a genuine excitement for incoming Freshman. I couldn't deal with it the way she does, but she seems to be good at it. Anyway, she's moved to the top of the employee list, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Second hire. A high school cheerleader. Nope, not what you're thinking. I didn't hire her because she was the hot in crowd girl. She works at a place that does business with my uncle and knew how to work a cash register. She's cute, but I have a problem looking at 19 year old girls and saying they're hot. Guys hit on her in the store a lot so I guess she's good eye candy for freshman guys.

Third hire. She checked prices and was going to have to buy all her books on financial aid at the college. Seeing that this girl is likely struggling, I threw out a job opportunity to her. She jumped on it like you wouldn't believe. Post hiring I asked her where she's an underwear store. Seriously, that's not why I hired her. I basically denied the campus a sale that brought in several more sales, which in turn brings in more and more.

While it would be nice to hire based on looks like a restaurant manager does, I think things out a little more. Freshman Orientation girl is obvious. I'm not allowed at orientation and when I'm on campus the teachers I know pretty well look at me like "Are you supposed to be here? Do they know you're here?" Cheerleader is a freshman, she brings freshman friends. Lots of them. Underwear girl did about the same. I can see all three of them working for me next semester. They all seem trustworthy, they all get along, and they work hard when they're here. I find that's a trait uncommon in Freshman these days.

My other two employees are semi-permanent. I've got one who has been with me since last spring. How we know her is a drawn out story, but we'll just say she's a damn good employee as well. She's good at what she does, is an organization freak, and is competant enough to run the store if I'm not there. That's great to have in my position because I don't easily hand over the keys to this place, but with her I can. Last, but certainly not least is a stand in. I had originally asked my neighbor (you'll remember him from the Rum Runners posts...still searching for another place that needs rum by the way) if he'd work for me and he agreed. Currently his job as a Fireman at an Air Force Base has prohibited that because he works more overtime than he does anything else. I'm sure the money is good, but the lack of rum in my diet is not. Anyway, he recommended his friend because he doesn't have a job, but is a good worker. They're in the guard together so I think that's a recommendation I can take. Turns out he's a damn good worker. He doesn't sit still, the Freshman girls seem to love him, and last night we had a great idea to pay campus a visit. We'd half thought of getting stupid drunk and then hitting campus, but I decided against. Man that would have been fun though. Anyway, I've got these flyers that I printed up last semester that I didn't use all of. We absolutely plastered campus with flyers last night, wrote on chalk boards, dry erase boards, talked to people standing in line at the bookstore (can you imagine they didn't like that?), and then we ran in to my employee that works orientation. She showed us around and said "Ohh, they're doing another orientation tonight. You guys should go." Me and C (just needing our rumrunner companion to be complete) said "Fuckin' A right...let's go!" So we spent some time in academic advising glad handing and passing out flyers. I even spoke to a group of Freshman that didn't seem to care, but the parents sure did. Now I wish I'd shaved and not looked so much like a scruffy rum running pirate. I have a feeling that this morning campus is finding out to the fullest what we did last night and they will not be happy.

So that's what's new with me. The employees have made for some pretty good stories that I will just have to share at a later date. For now I'm a little busy. Have a good Thursday and we'll update again this weekend.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

What's New?

Not a damn thing. Let's see, a quick review of the last few days since you're all dying to know. We saw You Me and Dupree in the theater and it wasn't bad. Pretty funny in some parts, but you could stand to wait until video to see it and not miss much. In other great news, V for Vendetta came out on DVD yesterday and I was first in line at 10:00 am to buy it when they opened the doors. I know what you're thinking..."Shouldn't you be at work at 10 am? Oh wait, you're the boss I guess you can do what you want." Not so much. I should have been at work at 10 am. I've been pretty damn lazy this week, partly because of the heat, partly because I'm just overweight. I slept in yesterday. Drove to the store only to find that someone else locked the store and I didn't have my key. Where was it? At home, on the table by the couch. So, once at work and realizing this I was then faced with driving 40 miles back home and another 40 miles back to work. At any rate, I happened to be driving by the mall right around 10:00 so I figured what the hell, I'm getting my movie. I haven't watched it yet, but I can assure you it's damn good.

In other news, I just can't be nice to sales calls. They are my arch nemesis. I recently mentioned that they're taking to leaving me messages to say "I've been trying to catch up with you guys. You've won this great prize pack for you and all your friends. If you'll call me back at (insert toll free number here) you can claim your prize." So I decided this was really annoying and I think I mentioned last week they should be punched in the face. Since I can't do that, I did something even better. I called back to claim my prize pack. While I had them on the phone, I told them that was great, we were excited, but I had a great offer for them. No shit, I tried to sign them up for AmWay. I think it's called Quixtar now, but you get the idea. You have no idea how funny it is to hear sales people squirm, call their supervisor, and try to find a way to get you to complete your transaction (that only costs you $100 a month for the next 12 years or something gay like that) and get you off the phone. The poor girl finally just kept reading the last few lines of her script that were something like "Sir, If I can just get your major credit card number and verify your address you'll win this fabulous prize pack." So I quickly found something in the Quixtar website that was something along the lines of "If you can sign up yourself and 10 of your co-workers today, you'll get a free vacation? Don't you like free vacations? Don't you have 10 friends or co-workers?" I think her boss came and cut the call off because she was lost. Apparently if you ask a sale caller something outside of their script, they don't much care for that. Anyway, without meaning to, I came up with an all new way to make sales people cry and hang up.

Finally. Today is mine and my hot wifes three year anniversary. Three years ago today we were leaving the church, finally married in a huge cloud of tire smoke (picture to come on that later) with my wife screaming for dear life. My family thought it was cool, her family...not so much. Anyway, Happy Anniversary to my hot wife.

That's it from me today. I hope everyone else is making it through the week okay.