Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Rainy Tuesdays....

I've never cared much for rain, and that's about all we've seen all day today. Not much going on at work. I know I have stuff to do, but nothing that's pressing.

I went to the YMCA to work out today at lunch and they were playing a mixed CD that had the new Gwen Stefani song on it. I despise that song. It sounds exactly the same as the stuff she did with No Doubt, only now we're supposed to care that she's gone solo. Her song is horrible, at least U2 duped me in to buying their new album with a couple of good songs. By the way, if you want a copy, I'll make it for you. One of us has bought this, why do the rest of us need to spend money on it?

At any rate. I've decided that I need to upgrade to something much more "professional" and much more cool as far as rides go. I like my Jeep, it's never left me stranded, never broken down, and when the weather gets bad it just can't be beat. So, I'm polling the audience again. I've always been strictly Chrysler so the next ride will be no different. What does the audience think that a cop look-a-like salesman should drive? Here are my two favorites thus far -

The Crossfire SRT-6 is an awesome car, but probably the most impractical piece of machinery designed since a moped. Anyway, not sure which one would suit me best but I'll take either one I can talk the wife in to. Either that, or I'll go with a truck. A really big truck. Just a thought. Enjoy your rainy Tuesday.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Stole This from Anya

20 years ago I...Was 6 years old.
Lived in Sheffield, AL - the fun and excitement capital of the world.
It was a great street, we all played baseball in the middle of the road.
I took Karate classes starting in first grade and thought I'd be the next Chuck Norris.

15 years ago I...Was 11 years old.
We had moved to Chattanooga the summer before.
With all the See Rock City signs on the way here, I couldn't wait to see it.
Started to make new friends - I somehow always make a new friend.

10 years ago I...Was 16, and learning to drive.
Still lived in Chattanooga with aspirations of being a Nascar driver so I drove really fast.
Got my first car and thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Two years later my Dad and I would buy a 72 Plymouth Cuda that we'd restore.

5 years ago I...Was 21.
Still lived at home with my parents - free rent and a place to store my car.
Trying to figure out what I really wanted to be.
Met a really hot girl in a Calc II class. She was the only thing I got out of it.
Changed my major a year later to something totally useless.

3 years ago I...Was 23.
Still lived at home.
Thought I might actually graduate college some day.
Was head over heals in love with the Calc II girl.
Not sure what I was going to do with my life, but I was a damn good waiter.

1 year ago I...Was 25.
Moved out of my parents house as I'd gotten married to the hot girl from the Calc II class.
Had finally graduated college and found a job I didn't mind going to every day. The first one sucked so I'm glad I got to experience it, but you couldn't pay me enough to go back.

So far this year I...Am 26.
Just bought a house in Ooltewah.
Still trying to unpack from the move.

Yesterday I...Slept in.
Went to my parents house and cleaned out my old bedroom.
Watched Desperate Housewives and Boston Legal.
Unpacked part of my garage.
Played with my new DVD burner because it rules.

Today I...have too much work to do to be blogging.
Turned off the water at our old house.
Played on the internet too long at home.

Tomorrow I...have to be at work early for a meeting.
Will likely be tired all day because of it.
Will have a lot of work to do.

Weekend movie review.

I'd like to say we had a productive weekend, but honestly I just ate a lot of food. We did get to watch three movies this weekend, so it wasn't a total loss.

First, we watched the Stepford Wives. I'm still upset that I paid to rent this one - it just wasn't any good. I like Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick both, but it just wasn't a good movie. If you really want to see it, I would recommend you wait for it to hit TV, or get a free rental.

Next was The Butterfly Effect. We'd heard for the longest time that this movie was great, and we'd love it. Sorry, I wasn't impressed. I do like the time travel type movies where you see the effects of what happens if you change one thing in the past. It's just neat to me. This was okay, and better than the Stepford Wives, but not all that great. I'm glad I did finally see it, but it isn't something I would go buy.

Lastly was National Treasure. This movie was great! It was like Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Carribean. I do like Nicholas Cage, so this was a must see anyway. The concept of the movie is cool, and it is way fun to watch. Most movies that are two hours long can't hold my attention, but this one didn't seem long and I never once dozed off. I would highly recommend this one - it's great.

That's about it for now...more later.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving!

So, as usual I ate too much yesterday and was overly stuffed. Being married and having two sets of parents to visit is hard sometimes because we've got my parents who do thanksgiving breakfast (steak and eggs) and Jennifer parents who do a traditional thanksgiving dinner. Needless to say, I don't save room for dessert because I don't have a choice. I can put away a lot of food, but it seems like I'm getting old and I'm eating sensibly now. I'm not sure what that's about but it sucks.

Anyway, Thanksgiving reminds me of another good Jeff story that we were talking about on their last visit to town. We went to a Christian High School so we did service projects for local organizations like the Food Bank, and the Community Kitchen. For some reason our group always chose "The Kitchen" as we referred to it. It was around this time of year we were sent down to organize their food cabinet. Let me tell you first off, this was the biggest mound of canned goods we had ever seen. It was more unorganized than the DVD section of Wal-Mart, and more hectic than mall traffic at 5 a.m. So, with our large group always going about things the unorthodox way, we decided that two of us would throw cans to people stationed around the room and we'd get done really quick. Well, Jeff and I elected to throw rather than stock so we'd yell whatever it was we picked up and throw it to the person that had those. We had a really great pace going (I did metion we were hurling canned goods across the room didn't I?) and I reach down for something on the ground and hear Jeff yell "CHILI HOT BEANS! COMIN DOWN!" No mix of words I can come up with will best describe what happens next. He reaches back in a way that would make Peyton Manning envious and fires these Chili Hot beans across the room, only problem being they hit the overhead light (in his defense it was hanging low) in the room and busted it in to a thousand pieces. While most of us were laughing as hard as we could, Jeff panicked and decided to trip the main breaker so they'd think we had a power outage. Our "supervisor" of the day was a homeless guy that didn't say much, and didn't seem to like people. So he comes back to see what's going on, most of the room in stitches laughing so hard with the Chili Hot beans still sitting on the floor, and says "Whatch'all be doin up in here?" So Jeff explained that the power went out and when it came back on it busted the light. He seemed to believe us, but the rest of us were still laughing pretty hard. I guess that was our contribution to The Kitchen for the holidays. Good times I tell you.

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. It's forty-something days to go until the Jeff and Mary visit and I am excited about watching College Football with Jeff on New Years Day. Have I mentioned that we're pumped about going down there?

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

The Ladies Man?

So we had a guy in the office the other day bragging about the girls he used to pick up, and does pick up, and how he's so smooth about it. I listened for a minute and realized - I don't have any of these stories. I had to think he was making them up because the only night club I ever went to where there were any girls that might consider hitting on me - they all thought I was a cop. Maybe I have somewhat of a Narc look about me, I don't know. My friends all thought it was hilarious because these really hot girls would look at me, walk over like they were curious and say something to the effect of "You're a cop aren't you?" Sadly, I was 19 at the time so I have no idea how that worked. Maybe I just look like a narc. I was always the designated driver, so it never mattered to me. Anyway, it was funny to think about while we had a guy bragging on himself the other day. Do I seem like an authority figure or a narc to anyone else? Just curious.

I do remember one story that I've always found really funny. I was visiting a former friend down in Macon and his fraternity brothers decided to take me out for a night on exciting Macon. If anyone ever tells you that Macon, Georga is the fun capital of the world, they're lying. So we're at a bar and one of his friends said "Dude, how come you didn't bring your girlfriend down with you?" I didn't have one so it was obvious why I didn't. For the next 30 minutes I got a lecture on how to pick up women. The crap this guy came up with was hilarious. It was like a seminar on how to never ever get the girl. He even said he prints up fake business cards because "chics dig e-mail." This was funny. I assure you words cannot describe how bad it really was. Not five minutes later this girl walks by with a tray of shooters and says "Did you guys want a shot?" My response was "No, did you want some chips and salsa?" She said she couldn't eat at work, but what was funny was she said "Thank you, that's very nice. It's much better than the guy who gave me this fake business card at the bar a minute ago. Are you a cop?" Okay, so she didn't ask if I was a cop but she may as well have.

Seriously, I can't look that intimidating, or like I eat that many donuts. Though these days you might believe I own stock in Krispy Kreme.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Moving in, Switching Cell Phones, and the Countdown to Visit Jeff and Mary

So, we've moved in. The house is liveable and the last of our stuff should come over from the dumplex this week. I locked the dead bolt from the inside and closed the garage door to the slumlord can't get in. Sucks to be him. I've still gotta go get my oil pan because the Wifes car needs an oil change.

We learned once we got to the new place that our cell phones didn't work worth a crap out there. I can't say as I thought any different because we're currently with AT&T Wireless. If you're thinking about getting a cell phone - stay as far away from AT&T/Cingular/Root of All Evil as you possibly can. They were a step up from Voice Stream when I had them, but Voice Stream is now T-Mobile and is supposed to be one of the better providers now. We've switched to Verizon now because everyone that came through our house with Verizon phones this weekend got a clear signal and could make a call. Once I'm home, I can't really make a call because it cuts in and out. It's crap. So, our new Verizon phones and start-up kit are in the mail. So long AT&T, you suck.

So, the countdown to our visit to Jeff and Mary begins. Since Jeff doesn't blog, I thought I'd throw out the occasional Jeff story from the glory days. For some reason, this one came to mind today. I remember riding somewhere with Jeff in his Dodge Daytona. Jeff and I drove like cars in high school - we thought it was cool at the time. We thought they were really fast, so we always drove as fast as humanly possible for some reason. Here we are doing about 90mph down Broad Street with the T-Tops out and the radio all the way up as usual. Then, Jeff makes a left hand turn and we find ourselves facing a truck - a really big truck. So we proceed to yell at this guy and give him the finger asking him what the hell he thinks he's doing. He looks at us like we're stupid, and we realize we've gone down a one way street the wrong way. Jeff just backed up, and we went on our way - still talking about what a tool that guy was. We leave for Jeff and Mary's on the 31st so 46 days to go.

Monday, November 22, 2004


Well, I'd like to say I'm catching up on sleep but I'm not. We're in our new house and it's great! Yesterday, I woke up, woke the hot wife up and said "Do you hear that?" She sat up, listended and said "Hear what?" Nothing. There was nothing to hear. Generally, waking up on Sunday means the neighbors kids are playing basketball over my wifes car. Never you fear though, the entire time we were moving out, they were playing basketball and were mad we were getting in their way. So, I'm still not up to date on sleep but we got a lot done this weekend. I really wish I'd taken today off to go play in the new house, but I didn't. I keep thinking I'm going to ask my boss to let me leave early, but that won't happen either. Oh well.

With the new house, I inherited a set of golf clubs they neglected to take. I didn't hide these or anything, but they left them. I don't play golf, but with some free clubs I might just consider taking it up. We'll see.

For now, we're still unpacking the stuff we need and throwing away what we don't need. It's very exciting to not be paying rent anymore. The house is great. All I have to do is finish up the garage door opener on my side of the garage and I'll be in good shape. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Closing Day, and a new law?

So, it's closing day. The house is a wreck and we found out last night we don't have enough boxes. No big deal, I'm sure a trip to the liquor store will find us a few more. It's almost noon here so only a few more hours until I sign my life over to a bank for the next 30 years. I guess that's what I'm supposed to be excited about, but I've never been one to enjoy being in debt.

So, I see on the news this morning while I'm packing, that there is a new law being proposed by some ass clown in DC. They want to make it illegal to fast forward through the previews on DVD's. Let's be for real here guys, I'm sure you have bigger fish to fry than people who are fast forwarding through previews on a DVD. If you don't, you should really consider a hobby. Try knitting? Warner Brothers and Paramount both said this is not what they're after. They really want to keep people from downloading and copying movies. This, I can see. I do enjoy movies, and I don't have a problem going to see them whenever possible so I'm all about not video taping movies and downloading them. To me, it's just not as fun, and the video quality generally sucks. Anyway, so now they're trying to pass a law that says I can't fast forward through previews I don't want to watch. So, does this mean if the law goes in to effect that I can't go make popcorn while the previews play? How are they going to enforce this law? Do I have to inform a county mounty every time I'm going to watch a movie so he can come verify that we're watching the previews? If they really think people should watch them, then they should make the DVD where you can't fast forward it.

I honestly can't see this as a problem we need to spend time on. Really, we've got people trying to pass another law that says if your car is a certain number of years old, they can take it and crush it regardless of the condition. No, I don't drive an old piece of junk, but I do like old cars. I even own one. Can you imagine what would happen if someone came to my house with a tow truck and attempted to take a car out of my garage? Normally I'm very calm, cool, and collected but I have a feeling I would make national news if that were to happen. There has to be a point where the control stops. You can't tell me I have to watch previews that I've already seen, and you can't come get my car because it's too old. Why do we waste time on this? It's really not that important if we watch previews or not!

Anyway, I'm done. Two hours until we close. The Nascar Season wraps up this weekend, so hopefully Roush will get a second Championship and Mark Martin will be the guy to get it. We can always hope. Have a good weekend, I'll let you know how the move went on Monday.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

My 25th hour

Well, in the movie Ed Norton has 24 hours before he goes to jail and uses his "25th hour" to straighten out his life. I'm not going to jail, but we've got one more day to pack. Still no word on the landlord about the leaky toilet. We moved the bath mat so it wouldn't get wet (they're not supposed to you know) and I was expressing my disgust with the neighbors about it this morning. It would appear that the previous bathroom fixture that was there frustrated our landlord to the point that he hit it with a hammer and broke it into 1,000 pieces. I thought it was funny, but the neighbors informed me that our landlord is not the handiest person. I was shocked. I helped the man put a hard top on that stupid suzuki he drives (what kind of grown man drives a pink suzuki sidekick anyway?) and didn't get so much as a thank you. I probably should have not helped, but followed him down the road when it blew off one day - that would have been funny to watch. Anyway, it would seem he was doing a simple fix for the tennants before us and got mad at the toilet so he just broke it and bought another. Seriously - isn't it cheaper to call a plumber? He installed pergo floors in the kitchen and honestly, Highway 153 was smoother when it was under construction than this floor has ever been. It's bad when you swiffer the floor and find dry streaks because of where the floor dips. Anyway, 24 hours to go and much work to be done. Our house looks aweful now. Actually, our boxes of stuff just detract from the carpet that has no identifiable color. Seriously, I wouldn't use this carpet in my garage. It's just wrong that someone would want you to live on this stuff. I may have time for an update tomorrow, but no guarantees. If I don't, then Monday begins the countdown to the Jeff and Mary vacation. I'm tempted to write a different Jeff story for every day (which I'm certain I could do), but I have a feeling only one of us would appreciate that and Jeff has his days where words just can't do him justice. If he'd blog more, you guys would see. That's all for today.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Two Days to go...

So, this morning I couldn't sleep. I woke up, cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes, ran the dishwasher, and made myself a nice carnation instant breakfast. Yesterday I ran late so my instant breakfast was made by dumping the packet of powder in my mouth, and attempting to wash it down with milk. This is not the best way to experience instant breakfast - I can assure you. However, I'm somewhat used to it because I used to take creatine, protene powders, and the like and that was the best way to suffer through them. Anyway, I finish what's supposed to be a healthy chocolate milk and head upstairs to start packing my half of the bathroom stuff. That should actually read my quarter since I don't have 75,000 different bottles of nail polish, make-up, lotions, conditioners, but you get the idea. I notice some water on the bathroom floor. The hot wife is still in bed so I know she hasn't showered. I would say that the mat outside of the tub isn't wet, but I recently learned that those are there for decoration, you can't actually use them. Thus, this is not a good way to determine if anyone has been in the shower or not. So, I notice that the toilet is now leaking from a new place and that is the source of the water. Keep in mind, this is a brand new toilet. It was installed by our boob of a landlord a few weeks before we moved it. It has leaked from every possible place since we've moved in. I've changed gaskets, hoses, tightened fixtures - I've done everything. There is only one piece left on this thing that I have not changed out - and now it leaks. Another call to the landlord proved that he isn't returning my call, and he can fix it when we move out next week. I assure you, it's all his. I wonder if he's like this with all of his people, or if it's just us. Anyway, I imagine once an electrician comes out to fix the outlets upstairs, he'll find it won't pass a single code and will be deemed unrentable. At any rate, not much time left to pack and still got a lot to go. Have a good night, and hopefully we'll get packed up soon.

Darwin Awards

I don't know how many of you have seen these, but some of them are good.

The Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool. This year's nine nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a formergirlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as hewas trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck."Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hungunderneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troublingnoise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other manfound Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death inDecember in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephonebeside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith& Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.(For whatever reason, residents of Southern states always seem tofigure prominently among the Darwin nominees.)

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulderand plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said GarryHoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Towerearly Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of thebuilding's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously hasconducted demonstrations of window strength according to policereports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]:A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas emissions. There was no mark on his body, and an autopsy showed large amounts of methanegas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the rightcombination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep frombreathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had hebeen outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his nearly airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick, and one was hospitalized.

Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]:Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]:A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killedMonday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly.He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel RegionalPolice. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over thebalcony," Honer said.

Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy RayWallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip on an overcast Sunday night when Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectlyinto the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles.The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released."Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,"said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck??? (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole DID, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

Monday, November 15, 2004

A Spinner Update

Well, we're headed out to see a movie this past weekend and we ran across an all new kind of spinner. Instead of having a cheap plastic piece on the outside of the wheel, they had a cheap plastic spinner underneath the outer cheap plastic cap. If you said they were chrome, you guessed right. Seriously - would you want any other color when you're talking about spending $20 here? I know I wouldn't. They had to make room for the reverse spinner as I guess you'd call it, so the caps stuck out from the wheels by three of four inches. Seriously, if you're in a traffic jam next to this guy, at a glance it looks like he's going to scrape the side of your car. These were aweful monstrosities. The really sad thing about all these spinners, plastic and non-plastic, is that people sit around and try to come up with variations on them. There are people out there that buy these and think that one set of plastic spinners is cooler, or more high tech than the other. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???!?? Why on earth would you do this to a defenseless vehicle? The car obviously did nothing to you, and this is far worse than putting sunglasses and a cigarette on a deer that you have mounted on your wall. I think these are senseless acts of violence. I'm going to write a letter to these people - and see if they can help me get these stopped. Enjoy what's left of your Monday.

Weekend Movie Update, and three days to go...

Well, we saw three movies this weekend, and I don't know that I should recommend any of them to you. We saw "After The Sunset," "Lost in Translation," and "Love Actually." The first one we saw in the theaters, and I'm glad we saw a matinee. It was okay, but not quite the heist movie I was hoping for. If you're going in hopes to see Salma Hayek naked - don't get your hopes up. As my friend Jeff put it, it's PG-13, so you get to see someone else see her naked. Anyway, the movie was alright. It seemed like they wanted to do a heist movie and a chic flick all together. It didn't work. It had it's funny points, but I assure you - you should wait to see it on TBS.

Lost in Translation was something I had wanted to see since Bill Murry was nominated for Best Actor. I've always liked Bill Murray, so I thought this would be good. It's very slow and generally has no purpose. It is funny on occasions, but again nothing worth watching if you have to pay for it. It wasn't bad, but it isn't something I'm rushing out to buy. I was down between this and "Emanuelle's Lost in Space" and this won. Okay, I'm kidding. I wasn't going to rent a soft porn movie, but it was in the action section at Blockbuster so it caught my eye. I have a feeling I would have expected less from that one and probably been less disappointed.

When I say we watched "Love Actually" I mean that I took one for the team. I used my last two free video coupons from Blockbuster and agreed to rent a chic flick. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so I can't really complain. You can certainly tell that a British person wrote and directed it because they portray the American President as a strong-armed womanizing bully. Outside of that, the story was a good one to follow and most girls will enjoy the movie and all guys are taking one for the team, because the movie stars Hugh Grant. Chic flicks I can do, Hugh Grant sucks.

Three days to go until I get my own garage bay. We've both been parking out side because our stupid garage doesn't work, and our boob of a landlord won't fix it for us. It's frosting over as of late, and both our windsheilds were frozen over. So, not only did I oversleep, I had to drive only being able to see out a tiny hole in the front window after it refroze. The hood was still frozen when I got to work, and the front windsheild finally defrosted. So, three more days and we're done here. I think I should leave a note that says "this place is a dump" and tack it to the wall so the next people know they shouldn't rent it. More later....

Friday, November 12, 2004

Boob just doesn't seem like a strong enough word for some people.

So this guy places an order online, and doesn't fill out the form properly (no shipping address) so he thinks he gets free shipping. I called and explained it to him, and this ass clown still wanted us to ship his order for free. Seeing as we don't ship free, this is hard to do. I can't imagine the audacity these people must have. Seriously, calling someone and saying "Hey, I know one of us has to pay shipping, but I'd really rather it be me. Is that good with you?" is a walk in the park for these people. Given, everyone wants a deal, and unless you want to bring your happy ass down here to pick them up, you've gotta pay freight. I searched the website everywhere for a sign that said "Freight is negotiable if you're an idiot" and I just couldn't find one. I wonder why that is? Anyway, the cheesepecker in question decided if we were going to make him pay the freight he just wasn't going to order from us. So I told him fine, but we'd already shipped his order, and already charged his card. He said "But I don't want you to charge my card." Well, if you really didn't want something on your card, you shouldn't have PLACED AN ORDER WITH IT!!!! The stupidity of the American public sometimes disturbs me. I think when I get old, I'm going to do that to people. The sad thing is, this guy will probably tell all his friends that we're bad people because we charge freight. One of these days I hope to get to speak freely to people like this. I'd love to go "Sir, can you hear yourself? I'm recording this conversation so I can play it back for everyone in the office here. We're all going to laugh at you because you're an idiot." I think that would make my day.

The good news today is that I got to talk to my favorite Nascar drivers crew chief. I'd sold to my driver (Flyin Ryan Newman) back in April and I guess left a good impression. The phone rings today and I hear "Hey man, Matt Borland here at Penske Racing South. Ryan gave me your number..." So, while I can't get pit passes, I have friends at PRS. Cool.

Well, it would appear that the for rent signs in front of the dumplex are ruined after being thrown in the ditch and rained on. What a shame. Six days to go. Have a great weekend.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Only in a Jeep...

Well, I'm headed to lunch today to get some Sushi downtown. I'm headed towards a yield sign, so I start slowing down. I look back and I find a Nissan truck barreling towards me with a girl on the cell phone. I'm not bashing women drivers here, that's just what happened. I have enough time to look at my friend and say "Dude...we're gonna get hit." Then, we get hit. It wasn't bad. It did zero damage to me from what I can find, but she gave me her info. The girl looked to be a construction worker, a very butch construction worker, and she wrote down her info in case there was any damage on a Maxim subscription form. I lauged and said "Hey, we both read Maxim" to attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't seem to help, she was very shaken. Maybe what I should have said was "Sweet - we both like women!" Somehow I don't think that would have helped either.

Well, the Six Cylinder's of Death walked away unscathed. She nailed the spare tire pretty good, but I didn't get to see if it damage the trunk at all. I'll have to look at that tonight to see for sure. Her brand new Nissan truck had an all new nose - or a nose job. It was beat up pretty bad, so needless to say The American Legend held it's own on Veterans' Day. Well, that's it from me. Make sure you tell your local veteran how much you appreciate them.

Seven Days to Go....

Wel, its' Veterans day so make sure you hug a veteran today, or do something to let them know they're appreciated. It's raining at our house. Rain usually makes the entire house damp and the floors feel like they're going to cave in. I know I'm overweight, but I don't think I'm so heavy that the floors cave in around me because they do it to my wife as well, and she's not near as heavy as I am. We need to move before I fall through the floor like the bath tub did in the Money Pit. Somehow I don't think I'd laugh that hard, but the good news is since the cars are out of the garage, they wouldn't get damaged.

Anyway, packing continues. We watched Good Advice last night with Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. The movie was sort of like What Women Want, but it was a little better. I've always liked Charlie Sheen, but I've honestly never cared for Denise Richards. Maybe she's an alright person, but as an actress she's always played roles where I've hoped for a painful death scene. Sadly, that's never happend. Anyway, she's not in it very long, and the movie is good. It's worth a free rental.

Not much going on here. Just work, and rain. Hopefully we can get everything out of the dumplex before it caves in or catches on fire. More Later...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Shopping is done...

I'm sure everyone knows to some extent that when you move, you realize there are things you have to have. Things that require you to shop. We've been shopping hard core to find a refrigerator, and the hot wife wanted some matching end tables. We've got the money for them, so I'm not too worried about it. We've been to Sears three or four times over the last week looking at refrigerator after refrigerator. They have better prices at Lowes, so why we went there I will never know. I feel bad for the guys at Sears because most of them have to sell junk to make any money. I know this because I have a friend that used to work in the electronics department and he said he felt bad selling people Packard Bell's because he knew they were junk. Anyway, this dumb kid kept trying to talk us into a refrigerator and wouldn't walk away when we were trying to talk about it. I can't stand that. If you're that bored, talk, or do something. Don't just stand there. Anyway, we ended up not buying it from him because we got a better price at Lowe's, and I got my garage door opener there too. We had a 10 percent off coupon, and we got a rebate for free delivery so we're in good shape. I'm thrilled to know that I don't have to do any more shopping. Now all I have to do is pack.

So, this morning I finished packing my Franklin Mint Cars, and the remaining Nascar cars. I boxed up the remaining DVD's and moved them all in to the garage. We can't really park in the garage right now because it doesn't work, so we're using it to move all of our stuff down in to. We close in eight days, and move in nine. The countdown continues.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Polling the audience here..should the wife get an '05?

I don't know if I've mentioned my wifes car situation before, but she used to have a Saturn. Let me tell you guys, if you ever have the choice of having a free Saturn, or giving birth to a baby porcupine that is on fire, look in to the less painful second option. A free Saturn can only mean it's going to cost you more than a college education in a years time to keep it running. So, when it died my hot wife decided she'd always wanted a Mustang. We found her one, in an automatic, and it's a super nice car. Much nicer than the heap she'd been driving. Now the questions comes, do we upgrade this recently purchased pony or not? Normally, I wouldn't post this, but we're watching CSI Miami last night and a commercial comes on that couldn't help but inspire an auto enthusiast like myself. It shows a field of dreams type commercial with the words "If you build it, he will come" being whispered to a guy with a corn field. The commercial shows a guy plowing a road course through his corn field, and pulls a new Mustang to the Start/Finish line. Then, a shadow appears and my wife and I are going "Who is that going to be?" I had no idea. I was expecting Jack Roush, Mark Martin, Matt Kenseth, or any one of the Ford guys. I even thought for a minute it would be Lee Iacoca or Carol Shelby. It was neither. The best part, is that it was Steve McQueen who made the Mustang famous with the movie Bullitt. You'll remember the Bullitt edition Mustangs that came out last year that were pretty cool - my wife's car even has Bullitt wheels. The commercial is one of the best I've seen since the Dodge Hemi commercials last year, and I'm not a Ford guy to say the least. Steve takes the car on a few laps, and it really looks like he's driving this car - and he's been dead for years.

So, the question is simple. Should we be sucked in to this advertising and get my wife a new Mustang? I would probably be tempted to cut a road course in our back yard and stand outside waiting for Steve McQueen to come drive me around (I'd still be warmer than we are in our current residence), or should we stay with the current '01 that we have now? Personally, my vote is for the '05. My wife would be way hotter in a retro Mustang, especially one endorsed by the late Steve McQueen. What do you all think?

Nine Days to go...

So, another cold night means I wake up to see my breath in the house and find that the coffee table is frozen over. The garage door still doesn't work, but our boob of a landlord was nice enough to respond to my request by putting for rent signs in the front yard. I was nice enough to remove them for him and gently place them in the ditch. Well, to say gently would be a lie. I uprooted them and threw them in the ditch with super human force. I found another one today that he'd put down at the end of our street and didn't have time to remove that one on my way to work. I was pushing the garage door up this morning to get the garbage can out and the neighbor said "Hey, you're garage door is working," as a joke. I laughed and said "yeah, I guess this was his method of fixing it." While we do have a three toed sloth for a landlord, we do have good neighbors.

So, tonight we get to go refrigerator shopping at Sears, and I get to get a garage door opener for the other side of our new house that doesn't have one. I found a more power one, so at least I get something out of tonights trip. Most of the furniture shopping is done now as we spent Sunday in Dalton for an agonizing day. Saturday, we were both called in to work, so I can't decide what is more painful - working or furniture shopping.

At any rate, we've got nine days to go until closing. I think I could leave all the windows and doors open in our new house and we'd still be warmer than this piece of crap we're in now.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

12 to go...

Once again, I wake up this morning and head to the Jeep to get warm. I should also note that all my windows were frosted over, and the heat is set above 70 degrees in our house. For some reason, it just stays cold.

We were continuing to pack yesterday, and I'd put some boxes in the storage space under our house - think that this was a good idea. I went down to retreive them yesterday and it looked like they had all been wet, and now had colonies of camel crickets, and mutant jumping ants in them. I decided it would be best to leave them under the house since no one ever goes under there anyway.

When we moved in, we asked boob what to about the stuff under the house. There were two mattresses, and 300 packets of aspirin with some other books and stuff. He said "Hey, it's not my problem. I don't care what you do with it, but you'll have to do something with it if you want it done." He left his vacuum that he cleaned the house with sitting in our kitchen. This thing didn't pick up anything. It made noise, but had no suction. The sad thing is, he vacuumed the entire house with it and didn't notice. So, we moved that under the house. Now when we move out - in 12 days - I guess it will be someone else's problem too.

Friday, November 05, 2004

13 To go...

So I called our boob of a landlord yesterday to tell him about his electrical problem before his rental property goes up in smoke, and as usual he didn't return my phone call. I figured as much, but he has no idea how happy I'll be once we're out of there. The wife said we wouldn't have to be moved out that weekend, but I'm tempted to sleep in the floor of the new house just to not stay in that dump anymore.

The weather has turned cold on us, and our dumplex isn't insulated worth a crap. I told my friend Jeff that it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter - no matter what the thermostat says. A look under the house proves that the insulation is hanging down. I thought about fixing it, but he's the landlord and he should probably be the one to fix it. Well, when I woke up this morning I could see my breath, and I hadn't gotten out of bed yet. I can only imagine how bad it's going to get before we leave. What's really sad is that I have to get in the car to warm up, and I drive a Jeep!

At any rate, 13 days to go.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

14 Days to go....

We close in 14 days, shortly you'll know why I'm counting down. My hot wife was using her curling iron this morning and it stopped working. She's upset because it's new. I'm watching the news and figured it was just one of those things - until I attempted to let her out of the garage. The garage door opener also not working, and I'm smelling something that smells like burning electrical wire. It would appear that my wifes curling iron tripped the circuit and a lot of the outlets in the house were then not working. So, I reset it opened the garage door only to have the stupid thing trip again after it raises up. I can tell this thing is really hot because I can smell it. The wife goes to work and I try to figure out what to do. I leave the circuit off figured anything that's powered up can't be worth burning the house down for. So I decided to do the neighborly thing (since our neighbor runs a day care out of their house) and tell them where the source of the fire is going to be should that craphole blow up while I'm gone. She just laughed and said "You know, our side is the same way. When it rains, none of the outlets inside work because they're all tied to the one outside. Once it gets wet, we can't plug anything in for days." Nice. I don't know if I've ever mentioned our three toed sloth of a landlord, but he's the absolute worst landlord I've ever even heard of. He's a bigger boob than John Edwards. Well, maybe not that bad, but he's up there. We called to tell him we were moving out, he didn't return our call. My wife still thinks we should clean up the place when we move out. If the light fixture in the kitchen wasn't from 1985 I'd take that just for the heck of it. Well, those are my frustrations for the day. I hope your Thursday is going well.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

My hat is off to John Kerry.

The election day fiasco was over before lunch, and before it become a fiasco. I know I spent a lot of time on this blog slamming John Kerry. Now, I feel bad that I left out John Edwards because he's quite possibly the biggest boob to run for Vice President in the history of the world. At any rate, my opinion of Senator Kerry changed today. I figured he would pull an Al Gore and turn this in to a spectacle for weeks and even months to come. Instead he conceded and lost gracefully. I can respect that. John Edwards was such a failure that he even lost his seat, and lost his home state, and the one he represented. I guess it was just a matter of time before America realized he spent an hour on his hair and couldn't take him seriously. I have to say that Senator Kerry did lose gracefully, he bowed out appropriately, and goes on to fight another day. I did mention my opinion of him changed, but make no mistake I still wouldn't vote for him if we had a re-vote today. However, to John Kerry - my hat is off to you. It was very noble, and very respectable. For that, all of America is greatful.

The day after Election Night.

Well, I stayed up until almost 3:30 last night to see what was going to happen. I did drift in and out of sleep for most of that, but I stayed up with what was going on. I also heard a lady last night around 1:00 that said she'd been reading a lot of Blogs and people were "ranting" about which candidate to vote for. I seriously doubt mine came up on the radar screen, but I laughed just the same.

I stole the following from Chastity, who borrowed it from somewhere else. At any rate, I thought it was cool.


1. When did you register to vote and what compelled you to do so? Well, I didn't get to vote in my first election. My mom kept me from voting because one of my favorite Nascar drivers said "Vote for Bob Dole" in Victory lane. I registered before the 2000 election - probably a few months before. My mom didn't know I'd registered and is now in denial about my first election.

2. Did you vote early (if your state offers this) or are you voting on election day? I voted on election day bright and early.

3. Do you truly believe your vote counts or are you not convinced that "every vote counts"? I'd like to think my vote counts, but some days who knows. I'll go with a yes on this one.

4. Did you make up your mind about what candidate to vote for a while back or within the last two weeks? Hasn't changed since 2000 and I imagine everyone here knows who it is...

5. Compared to your parents' views, are you voting the same as or different from them? My Dad and I usually see eye to eye, but my Mom, and my Sister and I differ. To each their own I guess, but the Republican party has always supported things for Automotive Enthusiasts like myself, and don't favor the Gun Control laws that the Democrats do. Basically I look at what affects both sides of my family - where my mom and sister get their views is anyone's guess.

Found at Tuesday Twosome.

Hopefully we'll have a decided winner before I go to lunch. I know both sides want to win, and I can see that. Realistically though, we don't need to be looked at around the world as a joke on election day. We should move forward no matter who it is.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Go Vote...If for no other reason than the people you meet.

So, we hit the poles this morning as soon as they opened. I felt like we had to do something to keep Herman Munster out of office, but we'll see how successful we were. You meet a lot of interesting people first thing in the morning. We were there with a group of elderly people that were "running the show" like the elderly do - slow and incoherent. They were for sure not going to open the polls at 7:59 because it wasn't time yet. So they decided at about 15 till that they needed to pass out the form you fill out to get a ballott. Picture this if you will, the elderly passing out forms to the elderly, no idea why they're passing out forms, no idea why they have to fill out forms. So, the loudest of them all (I would assume he was deaf but he had a walkman on that all of us could hear and chose to speak over it rather than turn it down) decides that he's not going to fill out the form because he's already filled out all the forms he's going to fill out, and that he hadn't filled out that stupid thing in 30 years of voting. While we're waiting in line, three more people come in and cut to the front of the line. They never say excuse me, never ask where the line starts, they just go. Then, the voting people come out and they say they're headed to a funeral so we have to let them go first - again they say nothing to the people they've just cut ahead of. Perhaps I'm an insensitive bastard, but I think it wouldn't have hurt them to say "Can we go ahead of you, we have a funeral to attend." I probably would have taken that a little better. Anyway, my hot wife and I were the youngest people there and it seems everyone around us was amazed that we were up and voting that early -myself included. They're still trying to pass out these forms that we have to fill out, much to the dissappointment of Mr. Walkman. It would seem that Mr. Walkman had now gone off on a rant about where is Walkman was made (China) and that because it was made overseas, it didn't have as nice of a belt clip as his cell phone. I would have to say that it wasn't because of where it was made, but when it was made. That walkman couldn't have been any newer than 1985. Then he informed us all how handy they were, and you could even plug it in to your car and play a cassette tape. I really had to bite my tongue to keep from going "REALLY???? A CASSETTE TAPE IN YOUR CAR???? THAT'S CRAZY TALK!!!" Somehow I don't think he would have gotten it.

Well, that's it for now. If you haven't voted today - go vote. I keep thinking during their next commercial that the Miller Lite Referee is going to pop up and throw them a penalty flag. I imagine he'd say "Penalty on the field, unbelievable hair pieces, and excessive mind numbing chatter. Presidency - DENIED!" As I've said before - John Kerry is a jackass and does not approve this message.

MoatesGarage is a proud sponser of George W. Bush for President 2004.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Netflix or Blockbuster?

Well, I had asked myself that question so I tried Netflix free for 30 days, and tried Blockbuster for 14 days. The verdict is that Blockbuster pretty much sucks. They say that their DVD's have a tracking system on it so when it's scanned by the Post Office they go ahead and ship your next DVD. I'll agree that since the postman on our street is a jackass, that probably takes it an extra couple of days so I can't totally blame Blockbuster. However, the crap about them being scanned is a bunch of hooey. It takes five days to get a movie turned around. Effectively, we'll have seen three movies from Blockbuster when my two week trial is up. I think we saw about 20 from Netflix in a 30 day trial. Netflix does have a turnaround place here in town so they're much faster. The closest one to us from Blockbuster is Livonia, Michigan. That'd be great if I lived in Motor City, but we live here in the scenic city.

Well, if you're thinking of trying out one of the two, I would recommend Netflix. Blockbuster probably has more movies, but it takes too long, and there seems to be a wait for everything. Netflix has their movies on hand, and are closer to us. If you live in Michigan, I think Blockbuster would probably be the way to go. If you live anywhere else in the world, I would recommend Netflix. Either way, check where their distribution centers are before you sign up as they do have them listed on their website. Just my thoughts...

Weekend movie update

So we watched two movies this weekend - Higher Learning, and Red Dragon. We'll start with Higher Learning as we did watch it first. It was recommended to us by Netflix because we watched The House of Sand and Fog. Well, I probably should have taken that as a clue that we wouldn't like it but I didn't. It wasn't a bad movie, it was done by the same people that did Boyz in the Hood (never saw it). The movie is about Freshmen in college - being their first year away from home. Maybe it's because I didn't move away, but I don't remember college being that way. You sortof feel bad for one of the kids as he just doesn't seem to fit in. The group that he does fit in with are the skinheads, so he becomes an extreme racist and kills a bunch of people at the "Peace Fest" at the end of the movie. I think the views between the different groups were the absolute extreme, but they did get the point across. The only think I think portrayed accurately was the campus security people. I don't think I've ever met one that I liked, or wasn't biased to the extreme towards their own race. Anyway, my recommendation is to watch something else. We didn't take that much away from it, and it wasn't all that entertaining.

Now, on to Red Dragon. I'm glad we watched something good this weekend. This is the prequel to the Silence of the Lambs, and opens where Hannibal gets caught. If you like those movies, this is great. My wife likes this kind of movie so we bought it six months ago and finally broke it out of the plastic Saturday night. The movie was the same type of psychological thriller you'd expect from the other two, but not as gruesome as Hannibal. Edward Norton is awesome, and Anthony Hopkins is almost too believable as Dr. Lector. Joseph Fiennes is the bad guy in this one, and I think he's pretty good. He has some tattoo work (that was fake) that took a long time to do, so that was impressive. When I say tattoo work, I mean he was covered from head to toe with ink. Anyway, the movie was good and I would highly recommend it if you like the psychological thriller type movies.

That's all for now.