Monday, January 30, 2006

Movie Reviews

Another weekend at home and another pair of movies courtesy of Netflix. Have I mentioned how cool this service is? Yeah, movies in my mailbox (when the post office decides to deliver them on time) with a list of ones I want to see so I'm always reminded of it. That's pretty cool. Anyway, two movies this weekend, one fair, one pretty good.

Mulholland Falls - Stars Nick Nolte, Melanie Griffith, and Jennifer Connelly. I thought this one would be more like LA Confidential, but it wasn't. LA Confidential was much that reminds me I need to watch that again soon. The only real advantage to this movie is that you get to see Jennifer Connelly without a shirt on, but she's not a major player in the movie. It's set in the 50's and four cops are the main focus. It's about their squad attempting to uncover the murder of Connelly's character and they trace it all the way back to the military. It's supposed to be a thriller that takes you on twists and turns, but it's pretty easy to figure out. I think everyone in it has done better movies, but I think Connelly can pull off the 50's beauty queen look very well. Not a bad movie, but not one we'll watch again and again. Or probably ever again.

Lord of War - Stars Nicholas Cage, Bridgette Moynahan, and Ethan Hawke. It's about an illegal arms dealer named Uri Orlov who, like anyone in the business of running things illegal gets in it for the money and is good at it. Moynahan plays the love interest, and Hawke plays the nazi police officer that is after him the entire movie. The movie shows him go from a small time guy trying to make a living to one of the worlds largest black market gun runners. The soundtrack is good enough that we might buy it, and the movie will make you laugh, but it has it's sad moments. I liked it as did the hot wife so I would recommend you see it unless you really don't like Nicholas Cage. Even if you don't, the movie is good. It's gory and graphic at points, and it makes the illegal gun runners job seem somewhat glorius and probably not near as not-so-glorious as it really is. The movie says it's based on real events so I don't know how much is true and how much of it is propaganda, but I really liked it and I could stand to watch it again.

As far as work goes this week, it's time to box up everything we didn't sell and send it back. This part sucks. Anyone in the area wants a free lunch, come by...we'll drink margarita's and box will be fun.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Nice Job Guys

It seems the University we graduated from has fallen under a bit of turmoil as of late. It probably wouldn't be nice to say the name of the university on the blog, so let's just say it's a University in Chattanooga, Tennessee and leave it at that. I always thought it to be an underfunded school seeing as the cash cow of this particular university system is an hour an a half from here, but as it turned out in my senior Sports Management classes I was wrong. The school dumps over $1 million a year in to a losing football program. Losing probably isn't the best word. Do you remember football movies like The Replacements, and Necessary Roughness? Picture either one of those football teams without the hilarity, talent, or the way they pull it together at the end and win, and that's pretty much my college football team. No, I never played football so I can't say as I contributed to the cause. I always thought I was too small. Turns out I was bigger than most of the guys on the team. Maybe that's why we suck. Anyway, this year we got a new head coach who proved to be pretty good. I think it produced the university's first winning season since 93. Midway through the season, six of the team members get accused of gang raping a girl at a drunken (is there another kind?) frat party. The six guys immediately get suspended and eventually expelled. Fast forward to a few months later, the charges are dropped, it's now an "alleged" rape case, the fraternity is facing an investigation (I don't think the players were members of this particular fraternity but I could be wrong), the six players were arrested, released, and now for some reason the girl has withdrawn from school and dropped the charges as well. I'm not taking anyones side in this because I don't know the facts, don't know the girl or the players. It was all over the news here as were all their pictures. I feel for this girl if something like this really did happen, so I'm not making any comments on the case itself. Anyway, the certainly overpaid, undertalented, and incredibly press hungry people that run our fair alma matter have decided that they're going to make a new school policy. Any guesses as to what that is? Nope, it's not a no drinking policy we already have that. They're going to attempt to make a rule in April that forbids group sex on campus. GET SERIOUS YOU MORONS! How in the hell do you think you're going to monitor group sex on a college campus? Are you really thinking of giving your private security force more of a reason to pull people over or search dorms? Are you going to start following people around where the guy to girl ratio is a little out of whack just to make sure at some point during their stay they don't "engage" in group sex? Do you plan on putting cameras in the dorms and frat houses? I think this is a plot by the governing body to keep this university in the spotlight for a while longer in hopes to get more recruits for students and football players. Seriously guys, nice frickin job. Now when people ask where I went to school, instead of saying "Oh yeah, I've always heard that place has a great program for what you got your degree in. One of the top 10 in the country isn't it?" we'll get to hear "Oh yeah! That's the place that tried to ban group sex isn't it?" Nice job guys. Your publicity stunt makes us ashamed of the place, and while I didn't realize it was possible, I think less of governing faculty than I did when I woke up this morning. You'll be getting a big hearty "Go Fuck Yourself" this year when you send your envelope asking me to donate money.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Hard Core Racist

We all have our prejudices and our stereotypes, but this guy cracked me up this morning. I got here a little late because I overslept...and because I can. Anyway, a very beat up rusted out Suburban was sitting in the parking lot when I got here and he gave me a funny look when I walked in. The guy was very much a blue collar worker. I think he even had on coveralls, and was dirty from head to toe with scars from likely tons of bar fights he'd been in. He had burns on his hands because he was a welder, but some of them were pretty bad. I get the feeling this guy welds with no gloves or helmets. You get the idea. He comes in and asks about these books that we don't have, then he shows me a print out he has from Amazon. I didn't have them, and I couldn't order them for the Amazon price. He asked if I'd just go ahead and order them for him and he'd pay me, so I rang it up on his credit card and ordered his books while he was standing here. He turned to leave and he stopped and came back to the counter. Then he said "I want you to know...and don't take no offense to this ya hear? I've always known about this place, but I ain't never done no business here because I thought it was owned by them ragheads next door." I laughed out loud...I thought that was hilarious. "Uh, I ain't meanin to make you mad by thinkin you's a raghead, and it's fine with me if the ragheads did own this place. I just don't do business with no ragheads cause I ain't never met one that I liked." I wasn't sure what to say, but I assured him that Habib next door did not own any piece of the store, nor did he work here. He said as long as that remained the case he'd do business with me any time he had business that involved books. I told him we welcomed hard core racists so we'd love to have him any time he had a need for books. I wonder if he'd thought for a second what would have happened if I was working for Habib? Somehow I imagine he never took that in to consideration.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Cookie Time

Well, it looks like it's that time of year again where Girl Scouts come and annoy the crap out of you in order to sell you cookies you don't need. We have a student who sells girl scout cookies. Last year I bought a box from her and she told me when she was in here buying her books that she would be back at cookie time. Sure enough she came back and I bought a box of cookies from her. I'm a nice guy, she has neat checks with super hero's on them (and yeah, she's good looking) so I bought a box. This was two or three days ago. Today, a very loud girl and her very annoying mother come in with a cookie form. The girl screams "DID YOU WANNA BUY COOKIES!!!!!!" Okay, she's excited about that, I can deal with that. So I said I was sorry I'd already bought some from a student, but I offered her a little debbie that we have on the counter (we have lots of them, it was our give-away this semster). Her mother puts her hands on her hips and says "What in the hell do you mean you bought some already? From who???" So I told her it was a student that buys from me. She responds with a very annoyed "What kinda student sells Girl Scout cookies?" I honestly don't know, it could be that she's a leader, or that her daughter sells them. I don't know, I don't care. She buys books, I buy cookies, that's the extent of our relationship. This woman had until recently been standing at the door, now leans on my counter and looks at me over her glasses to say "I betcha she ain't no girl scout. I betcha she's just sellin 'em for somebody else. Just how many boxes did you buy and why'd you buy 'em from her?" Her answer was just a stare. How many boxes I buy or why I buy anything is inconsequential to someone who I don't know and has overstayed their welcome in the store. In the mean time her daughter (who I guess is hopped up on sugar because she's bouncing off the walls) screams "WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SELL COOKIES IF YOU WON'T BUY ANY!?!?!?" It has been slow today, but I've been busy with buybacks and returns like crazy. To me, this is nuts. This conversation should have ended at "I'm sorry I've bought some already." So the lady, obviously helping her daughter be a good girl scout says "Honey let's go. He ain't buyin nuthin. He dun bought 'em from somebody who ain't even a girl scout." Then she looks back and me and says "It ain't right that you dun that. It ain't right that she's dun that neither." The kid had gotten bored and run outside...probably to play in traffic...the rest of the conversation went like this...

Me: "Lady, she comes in here and buys books, and asks if I want cookies. There is no right or wrong here."
Role Model Mom: "You ain't supposed to buy 'em from just anybody."
Suave Bookstore Owner: "I work for myself. I don't have to do a damn thing anybody but me wants to do. If you don't like it, get the hell out of my store."
Mom of the year: (confused) "I think you're bein rude to us."
Tyler Derdon: "This conversation is over."

With that she left. Honestly, that's five minutes of my life I'll never see again. All for cookies I don't need. Thanks lady, now you made me blog about what a rude bitch you were. I hate you.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Great Clips Special...

...really isn't special at all. Maybe I just don't know how to talk to hair stylists, or maybe I just find ones that don't care. I didn't really need a hair cut but I probably would have in the next week or so so while they're doing the $5.99 hair cut special I figured I'd get it over with this weekend while I had some free time. Maybe you get what you pay for but I think this girl just decided to nearly shave my head and move on to the next guy. I've decided I need to stop worrying about what a haircut costs, I just need to find a girl that is capable of cutting hair, and is hot. Why? Not just because I'm shallow, but because hot girls always give better hair cuts. Maybe they've had more practice. I tried for a while not caring and just letting the trolls at the local Great Shaves...I mean Clips...cut my hair. At this place, the trolls whine because the three attractive girls get all the hair cuts and make all the money, and don't like them. Once they're done whining about them, they whine about their life and how everyone hates them and the world is against them but then inform me that they have a boyfriend. Yes...they do all of this in one haircut that takes up half your day and almost all of your hair. I know it's hair and it grows back but when your wife looks at you and says "DAMN! Did you tell them you were an aids patient and needed the HIV special or what? My GOD that's a bad haircut!" you tend to think it's time to find a new place to go. My brother-in-law recommended a girl once that gave a good hair cut, but was extremely good looking and had large fake breasts. I'm figuring that's the key. She has to be hot, because hot girls cut more hair, because shallow guys like me think ugly girls can't cut hair. We're right. I know we are. This many shallow assholes in the world can't be wrong. Mike lived on that theory for years and I dont' ever remember looking at Mike wondering what happened to his head.

Short of that, the weekend involved a transmission service to my hot wifes (see, I was shallow enough to marry a hot girl too) Crustang, and board games and tequila shots with friends. We played I did manage to get Mobil 1 ATF in my hair but since my hair is short enough now I was able to get it out with a paper towel. Normally it might have taken shampoo or something but not anymore. Not much else happening this week at work. We've got books to send back, and books to re-order. I did update my countdowns to add Inside Man, Firewall, and Ghost Rider because all of those look cool.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Movie Review - Underworld Evolution

Underworld Evolution. Yeah, what could be hotter than Kate Beckinsale in leather with bright blue eyes? Not much if anything I know. Amazingly, even after making the hot wife watch the first movie the other night she didn't want to go see the highly anticipated sequel. I went with my friend Nate and one of his friends that just finished a tour of duty in Iraq as a Marine. The movie was awesome, it picked up right where the previous movie left off. When I say that, I don't mean that it's in line and makes sense, I mean that the opening scene that shows some background information ends, and the movie begins with Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman in the same clothes they were in at the end of the last movie. The new one is awesome. I loved it. It's a killer action flick that's a perfect sequel to the first movie. The movie opens in 1202 AD and adds some history to the first movie that wasn't there. I won't say much about it because I don't want to ruin it for anyone that hasn't seen it. I will say that Kate Beckinsale is hot...but that's a give...anyway...she's hot, and great in her follow up role as Selene the Death Dealer. Scott Speedman co-stars as the first hybrid Vampire/Lycan so I thought the movie would be mostly about him. It's actually about their story so it's still got the Blade meets Romeo and Juliet touch that the first one had. My only complaint is that they tease you with a mostly naked Kate Beckinsale. So I'll do the same...

The one on the left is one of my favorite Kate Beckinsale Pictures. The one on the right is an actual still from the movie. Seriously, don't tease us with a Kate Beckinsale nude scene. Either give us one or don't. I'm not an in between guy so hopefully her husband (writer and director) will put it in the unrated two pack that is sure to hit this summer. At any rate, the movie is fantastic. I think anyone that liked the first one, or is a fan of vampire movies, or just thinks Kate Beckinsale is hot, should see it. We're off to have some good Mexican and drink lots of Margarita's tonight so I hope everyone has a great weekend. Go see Underworld Evolution if you have the chance.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Beer, Boneheads, and the Bachelor

No, the spring book rush didn't drive me to drinking. The other night, it was late. This really good looking girl walks in the front door. Very young, very well built, with a baby on her hip. I don't think this girl was 21 yet honestly, but I could be wrong. She comes in, and needs a book. Why else do you visit your off campus store? She had two books to sell back, both of them were old but one of them pulled up as worth $10. So she gets $10 for her new books. She said "I don't really have any money, but I have to have this book tomorrow. Is there anything I can do?" If Mike was here, I'm sure there was something she could have done but that would have been totally unofficial. She was on financial aid and on government aid, but I didn't have a way to help her. She said "Well, I have this cash card from the government but my boyfriend has it right now and I don't know where he's at tonight. I get lots of financial aid because I'm a single mom, but I only have $10 now because my boyfriend uses a lot of it." At this point I'm not sure if I should feel bad for her, or just ask what in the hell she's thinking letting her boyfriend use her government aid. She said she'd be back when she found her boyfriend and got the financial aid thing figured out. Still parked in front of our store, she goes to Habib's next door, gets a case of PBR, then puts the baby back in the car and heads off. Seriously, if money is that much of a priority do you really need PBR? I would think not, but looks like this girl has made lots of bad decisions and continues on.

So we got our share of boneheads in this semester. There are tons of stories I could tell you, but I'll spare you. Probably my favorite one was a guy that somehow decided to negotiate prices. He had an old edition and decided he wanted $35 for it. We had plenty of them so I couldn't buy it for that because I bought it cheaper than that from the wholesalers. He argued and argued with a girl I had working for me and gave up. Then she got his new books he needed and he decided he didn't want to pay sales tax and wanted us to knock off $10 a book. I know college bookstores are perceived as a ripoff, but if I'd done that for him I would have been paying him to take these two books. Yeah, on occasions we make more than $10 a book but not these. I walk by and he's telling this girl just to ring them up and not worry about it. Just to do as he says. So I walk over and said "What's the problem?" So they fill me in. I rang up the books regular price and said "That's how much they are man." He responds with (in a very thick mexican accent) "I'm not paying that. You ring them up for this much because that's all I'm paying." I told him he could try that trick at Wal-Mart and if it worked he was welcome to come back here and I'd knock that much off. He got mad, bought one book and left. I don't think he came back for the other one, but I also don't care.

My wife makes me watch the bachelor when CSI Miami is a re-run. Personally I'd rather watch CSI Miami Reruns because they have Emily Proctor......the bachelor just can't offer that. While in the midst of this suffering I said "Honey, do you know who I'd really like to see on the bachelor?" She had no idea where I was going with this so I said (with honestly no offense to Tiffany) "Mike. Mike would be awesome to watch on the bachelor. It would be fun because you know that part where they bring in friends to interview the girls? We'd get to do that." Most of you have read Mike's post so I can imagine him on the Bachelor handing out roses and girls saying "Why didn't you pick me?" I would give up watching a few episodes of CSI Miami for that.

Friday, January 13, 2006

I'm a bad person

So Habib the next door neighbor got a new car this week. Now he can drive from his apartment complex across the street to the store in his new Honda minivan. Why he drives to work I'm not sure. He's got limited parking and sells more beer out of that store than any three beer joints in this town so why he parks in front of his own front door I don't know. Anyway, we have a driveway that goes around our building in between mine and Habib's places. He saw us pull a truck around back to load up some returns and pulled his van in front of the driveway almost like he was blocking us on purpose. We had to be at FedEx by 5:00 and he wasn't helping the cause. So I ran inside to ask him if he could move. He took a huge offense to this for whatever reason and said he'd do it in a minute, when we got the other car next to him to move he came out and informed us he wasn't moving. My dad was with me so he called him a few choice, and undoubtedly racist names. Habib weighs about 90lbs so if he ever decided he wanted to throw down I'm pretty sure he'd get broken in half. Anyway back to the story at hand. Today he parked up next to our building. We didn't pull around back, but he was right by our window and couldn't see the car from his front door. The rain started pouring down at about lunch time today and Habib had his sunroof open. I stood there and laughed. The car was also parked on a hill so any water was running right in to the driver seat. He came to his car to leave and I stood at the window watching him get in. Once he sat down he jumped out with a confused and startled look about him and then I started lauging again. He heard me because I almost fell over, made eye contact, and kept laughing. He climbed in and drove off but his look changed from startled to embarrassed. Somehow I know I should have felt bad about it, but I didn't. Probably because I'm a bad person.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Happy Birthday to Jennifer!

Happy 26th Birthday Honey!


This week has been the book rush and it's been hectic and busy...much like I was hoping for. It was so awesome yesterday I almost called that hateful manager of the campus store and said "So how is my bitch today?" They had a lot of returns yesterday because of us. They tell students that we don't carry the right books so when they come to the store to see, they buy from us because we're cheaper and return the books to them. They may still have had more sales than us, but they had double the returns we did because they suck. We're slowly but surely taking over this campus so in the next year or so I'll be running this show. Enough of that.

We get to meet a lot of interesting I'm sure you can imagine. Mike was nice enough to loan me his girlfriend (to be a book ho) for the rush. I really hate that it was just the two of us, but this girl came in that looked like a hooker. Not because she had on too much make-up or was dressed sleezy. She came in with her hair in some sort of spikey twist (I'm sure there is a term for that, but I don't know it), eye make-up from here eyebrows to her eyelids, tons of blush or rouge, the brightest red lipstick I've ever seen in my life, fishnet stockings, plaid skirt, clear high heels, and a really nice button down shirt that was open so we could see the corset she had on under it. She got nervous when we asked had she just left work so we're pretty sure she was a hooker that's hooking her way through college. Later that day we get another girl with a skin tight (and form fitting) shirt that says "Brunette's make the best snowbunnies." I asked her what that meant...maybe because I don't get it...but she just giggled and said "Hehe...we do...hehe.." Her shirt doesn't quite meet her waist line but neither do these amazingly tight jeans. Just out of the top of her jeans (besides a thong that was about to pop out) was a playboy bunny tatoo. She paid for a $58 book in ones...not just a few...58 one dollar bills. Seriously, stripper or not? A few singles makes you a waiter, 58 of them makes you a stripper...

Remember a few weeks ago I blogged about being banned from the post office? If you don't they offered to charge me $4.99 to use their pen to sign a credit card receipt. I told them how stupid that was and someone in line let me borrow a pen while I told this lady what to do with her $4.99 pen. Anyway, a few instances where you use expletives at a post office I'm pretty sure you're banned. There is another post office that's almost as close that I've been frequenting and the guys that work there think it's funny that I've said these things at a postal facility and they've of course heard about it. Anyway, they recently got a transfer in from this other post office and one of the girls working for me went in and talked to them for a minute. She made the remark "My boss is banned from the other post office because of a pen." She said "Oh, I was there that day I remember that. He's not banned, she shouldn't have tried to charge him for the pen. We were hoping he'd come back because we thought he was hot." Clearly, they're all nearsighted or something. Perhaps they are thinking of someone else, but she was pretty specific about things I said. Anyway, maybe I'm not banned. I'm still not going back...ever.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Movie Review - Hostel

So Mike had some discount movie tickets and the wife was out shopping today so we went to see Hostel. Nothing about the preview wanted me to see this movie. The fact that people were getting butchered to Christmas music just seemed wrong. I've been saying for months now "Oh, that's one for the not to see even when it's on video list." Well, I thought Bloodrayne might have been a good movie and of course Mike wanted to see Hostel. My original pitch was "Mike, wanna see a vampire movie with a hot girl in it?" His response - " want to see Bloodrayne don't you? That looks dumb." Then he told me what it was about, and we agreed it was dumb. So to the 7:10 show of Hostel we went. Honestly, it really wasn't that bad. It had a good plot, good story line, nice little twists, and a lot of naked chics in it. The first half hour was almost soft porn because there were so many topless girls walking around. I kept thinking "Is this supposed to be a horror movie?" So Mike says "You are no longer allowed to question my judgement in movies again." The last half of the movie is the horror part. These three girls that have seduced these three guys talk them in to having wild european sex with them. The girls are hot, but they're being paid to recruit people so to speak. They're basically hunters for these people who pay anything to torture someone until they die. The worlds elite gather in this place, pay for someone to bring them a person of any nationality in, and they torture them with various tools and weapons, then kill them. That part of the movie is pretty nasty, but typically it pans away before anything really gross happens so it isn't that bad. I really thought this movie would keep me up, and just be generally disturbing, but it wasn't bad at all. I probably won't watch it again (well, maybe the first 30 minutes or so) but it was a pretty good movie. I do like Tarantino films, and this one was no exception. This movie certainly isn't for everyone, but if you enjoy a horror movie with lots of naked (hot European) girls, check it out.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


It's late and I've got a really long day at work tomorrow, but I stayed up to watch the National Championship game. I would like to be the first to blog that USC has lost...and showed their true colors. Matt Leinart, supposed to be a class act, showed the entire nation that he's a little bitch. I don't care how good of a football player he is, he's a bitch, and tonight he's a loser. His post game quote "I still think we're the better team here tonight, they just made some good plays at the end." Matt, if you were the better team it wouldn't have come down to good plays for the other team at the end. You were outplayed and certainly outclassed by Vince Young, Coach Mack, and the Texas Longhorns. USC's day has been coming. They technically lost to Notre Dame this year, but Pete Carroll wanted a do-over and got it. Sorry guys, looks like you get to cry your way all the way back to Southern California with a Texas Longhorn shoved in your ass because there will be no do-over tonight. I'm glad USC lost, I just wish they'd lost by 500 points instead of three. Either way, they lost. In closing, I'll for sure have to say - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and Hook 'em Horns.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Top 15 Movies of 2005

My wife and I stayed up to watch Ebert and Ropers top 10 movies of 2005. Their list inspired me to make my own. Mostly because I hadn't seen or heard of a bunch of their movies, and couldn't limit it to 10. So here we go...

15. The Longest Yard - Yeah, it's a remake but it's still funny. It's got some of your typical Adam Sandler humor in it, but not anything like Happy Gilmore does. If you're going to remake the original, this would have been the best way to do it.

14. Assault on Precint 13 - This also falls in to the remake category but is a good action flick with Laurence Fishburn and Ethan Hawke. I never saw the original so I can't compare but this movie is good...really good.

13. Elektra - Jennifer Garner's first and probably only one of these movies. I heard some people complain that it wasn't as in line with Daredevil as they'd hoped but this is it's own movie. Certainly worth owning and watching, and not because Jennifer Garner is in red leather. She's only in the famed Elektra outfit for a few minutes, but clearly Jennifer Garner makes a good comic book assassin.

12. Serenity - Based on a TV series that I never saw this was a good movie. I like science fiction and space travel, and I really did enjoy this movie. My only regret is that I didn't see it in the theaters.

11. The Ringer - This is a late comer and probably shouldn't be this high but it was really funny. I'll review it later this week, but I laughed so hard at this movie. It almost feels wrong to laugh, but you just can't help it.

10. War of the Worlds - The movie was good, and probably right on with what I thought the book would look like in my mind. I could have done without Tom Cruise, and Dakota Fanning - while she nailed her role - was insanely annoying. The ending was dumb, but I did my senior mass media research in college on War of the Worlds so I was excited to see this one.

9. The Dukes of Hazzard - So it's not the TV show. Not even close. It does have the car and the theme song, and Jessica Simpson. My wife accused me of watching this one just because she's in it. She really only visits the movie, but we did buy the DVD because her music video is on it. I liked the movie, but don't expect to have those warm fuzzy feelings you had when you learned a moral lesson from the tv show, expect to laugh like you do when you watch American Pie or The Ringer.

8. Hitch - I bet a lot of countdowns forgot this one because it came out early 2005. I really liked it. It's a pretty decent date movie, and I'm sure most guys can relate to Will Smith's character at some point.

7. Sin City - Okay so my wife hated this one but I'm really waiting to see the Director's Cut when it comes out. This movie isn't for the squeemish and if you didn't like Pulp Fiction you won't like this one at all. Yes, it made my top 10 but I did like it. To name a movie Sin City, you can expect exactly that as this movie does not disappoint.

6. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - The best and most recent installment in the Harry Potter series. This lady seriously needs to cut out some of the information she's putting in to these books as I'm tired of hearing people complain that the movies are only outlines. This movie was almost three hours long and it did seem like they rushed to put everything in then rolled the credits, but it was good. If you liked the first Harry Potter movies, this one is just as good if not better.

5. Fantastic Four - It's obvious that I'm a fan of comic book movies so this one is no different. It might have been better if it didn't come out within a few weeks of Batman Begins, but a good comic book movie none the less. They did leave the door wide open for a sequel, but I wouldn't look for one.

4. Wedding Crashers - Yeah. I laughed so hard at this movie I almost busted a blood vessel in my head. This was by far the comedy of the year and it comes out on DVD tomorrow so I'm all over it. If only Circuit City were open at 6:00 am when I leave for work. I doubt they'll have the unrated edition at WalMart. If you haven't seen this, and can stand to laugh that hard you really need to see it.

3. The Chronicles of Narnia - Probably the only late comer on the list but it was great. I read the books in middle school and high school and this movie seemed like the perfect way to start the book franchise on the big screen. My wife left the theater ready to see the remaining six books. Just think, in 12 more years we probably will.

2. Star Wars Episode III - Finally, the Saga is complete. Now I can make my wife watch all six movies in order. If you haven't seen this one, this is probably the best one of the six. I imagine if you see them all in order Episode VI would be the best, but since the rest of the world has waited 30 years to see the beginning, this ties them all together in the perfect way.

1. Batman Begins - By far the best movie of the summer. A fantastic way to revive the Batman Franchise with Christian Bale as the Dark Knight. This is probably the one my wife and I agree on for the year.

I've got a worst list of 2005 as well but I haven't published it. It's sitting in reserve. If anyone wants to read it, I'll be happy to post it later this week. Honorable mentions for 2005 go to The Island, The Interpreter, Hostage, The Brothers Grimm, Kingdom of Heaven, and Jarhead. Movies I haven't seen from 2005 but really want to are Walk the Line, Domino, Into the Blue, and The Legend of Zorro. If you read my previous post, it looks like 2006 will be a good year for movies as well.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Movies to see this year.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year's eve. Ours was uneventful but we enjoyed it. We did get to see The Ringer this weekend, but that review will come later. As you may have guessed we've seen a lot of movie trailers lately. Some good, some bad. If they're at least okay you'll see a countdown for them on the left. If they're not, you'll see me make fun of them here. I'll review the most recent trailers first.

Superman Returns - Yeah, this one looks good. They even used the archive footage of Marlin Brando from the first film. This is going to be this summers Batman Returns. I can feel it. This one is supposed to be after Superman takes a five year break from Metropolis and moves back to find Lois Lane with another man, and that Lex Luthor (played by Kevin Spacey) still wants him dead. Stars Brandon Routh as the Man of Steele, and a very hot Kate Boswoth as Lois Lane. Honorable mention goes to James Marsden, who you may know as Cyclops from the X-men movies, who plays Frank White. This will be the summer blockbuster.

Underworld Evolution - Kate Beckinsale. Leather. Vampires. Werewovles. Kate Beckinsale. The second installment in the Underworld Franchise where Kate Beckinsale makes up for Van Helsing by slaying vampires in skimpy leather outfits. This is one I'm certain the wife will not go see with me.

The Worlds Fastest Indian - Based on a true story with Anthony Hopkins. It's about a guy who wanted to set a world speed record on his Indian Motorcycle. The preview looks pretty good, and seeing as how the tagline is "All my life I've been interested in things that go fast," I'm hooked.

V for Vendetta - brought to you by the Wachowski brothers. Surely they won't disappoint us with this one like they did the Matrix Sequels. Yes, I did like them but they drug on a bit in some places. This movie stars Agent Smith, or rather Hugo Weaving, as the leader of a rebellion against a Futuristic Totalitarian Britain. Also stars Natalie Portman with a british accent and a shaved head. I'm pissed because this movie was supposed to come out in November but they pushed it back to March 17th.

X-Men 3 - Yeah, the first two were good and I don't look for this one to be anything different. The original cast is back with a few extra's and should be another great installment in X-men series. Probably won't be as good as Superman Returns, but will hold it's own in May.

Pirates of The Carribean: Dead Man's Chest - The second installment in the Pirates of the Carribean franchise. They filmed the second and third together so hopefully they won't be a huge bomb, but we'll see. I'm looking forward to them.

Miami Vice - This looks like a good movie, but it doesn't look like Miami Vice. If you were to make a teaser trailer for a movie named after a popular 80's TV show, what is the one element you'd make sure to have in it? Just think for a minute. What is the one thing TV shows have that distinguishes them from other TV shows...Any ideas? THEME SONGS. The Miami Vice trailer should have opened with the two girls walking on the beach in bikini's and the cheesy 80's theme song playing in the background. It didn't. It looks like a sequel to Collateral, so it will probably be a good movie, but it won't be Miami Vice. Stars Colin Farrel and Jamie Foxx. Top billing (and oddly the driving duties) go to Jamie Foxx. Not sure why he's doing this one, but he did do Stealth so maybe it's in his contract now that he's won an Oscar that he has to do sucky movies twice a year.

Bloodrayne - Another Vampire movie with a really hot - though not Kate Beckinsale hot - vampire hunter. Also stars Ben Kingsley and looks pretty cool. Certainly a movie that Mike and I will see without women present.

Mel Gibson also has a new movie coming out called Apocalypto. I'm not sure what it's about, but it looks weird. Not likely something I'll see. My Night Shyamalamadingdong has another "thriller" coming out called Lady in the Water. I think it's about Mermaids, but I'm not amped up to see it either. Maybe next time Blockbuster screws up and sends me $40 worth of movies I'll watch that and the Village together.